Rose Solitary Realisers!

Thursday 10:36 a.m.
Edinburgh is full of flatheids. You go on a bus and there they are. All along the pavements. In the pubs. There might be one or two blissheids going around, but I don't know any. I had to admit that I was no longer normal a year passed last summer.

I was in the Meadows attending the start of a march, or a rally, all about eradicating world poverty, I think. It was the leaning forward while sitting there, and stretching up that made me realise I was no longer normal. If you can lean forward and get a big whoosh of ra bliss going up your body when you straighten up, you are no longer a normal.

I used to glory in my normality. While all my friends were funged up, disturbed or bizarre, I was average, normal, within the normal range, kind of a joe.

Some times when ra bliss and the uplifting force seem to be running stronger than ever, I think: Fung sake! This is not normal! Get a grip, Hotboy! Or worse still: I don't know what's going to happen next. Oh no!

To be a solitary realising foe destroyer you have to keep hold of your bottle!

Last night I ran away from ra bliss and went visiting instead. But I've been in the lobby today from quarter past nine. Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to describe what is happening to me as far as the changes in ra bliss is concerned. But when it gets stronger, blissier and, let's face it, this is not really totally under my control ... well, you feel like running away for a bit and doing normal stuff, like going to the pub!

Just sitting here, I know it's going to be a special day! Set the controls for the heart of the sun!

12:45 p.m.
Since I got a literary agent to handle my new book a month ago, I've been trying a wee bit harder with the discipline, and I think I've been off the beers more days than not. Just had a great morning sitting in the lobby. Only interupted for one headstand, one tai chi set and one backbend. No wonder I've no time to read books! Anyway, I don't know why I was getting anxious about the juju yesterday. Something about exploding in flames, going mad, crashing and burning, opening channels you can't close .... doubt! Anxiety! But all my plans are simple. Forward! Forward! Into ra bliss!!

7:03 p.m.
Put in about seven hours meditating today. The flat will be empty in half an hour and then I'll do some more.

Gladiator is on at nine o clock. Gladiator is a movie all about flatheids. Very rarely in films do you see the central character saying: This is a lot of old dukka! I'm away to meditate and do some of ra bliss instead of putting up with all this stabbing and chopping and spearing malarkey. However, at least in Gladiator there is enough of the old ultraviolence to hold one's attention between the boring bits where all the flatheids moan and groan at each other about a lot of flatheided stuff!

11:45 p.m.
Wonderful day! Nice mixture of things! We swopped days. She said what she'd done. I told her about the meditating for eight hours. In the lobby. She said: It is weird. Hmm?

There really aren't many signposts in the mind game. You kind of fumble your way. But it is necessary perhaps to have the idea that you can improve, and that doing something will improve it.

Is it weird to sit meditating for most of the day? Hmmm?

Ranother thing!

Wednesday 1:00 p.m.
Another thing not to to do is to work full time ever again! What a great time I'm going to have over the next few days! Ra bliss was full on today. In fact, ra bliss has jumped the fence and is now in quite a different paddock. Not much point in talking to flatheids about ra bliss, but there it is.

Watched a film last night called The Weatherman and it was about a flatheid. Most films are about flatheids. They don't get ra bliss and certainly don't meditate, have not an inkling of what emptiness might be, so they go around with their heads stuck up their bottoms, sometimes having a rotten time. Well, they would, wouldn't they?

There are troubles in these times, but, oh, oh, none of them are mine! Let's hear it for ra bliss! Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!

Rem Fings Not To Do!

Saturday 9:40 p.m.
There must be more of those things that you'd never do.
6) I'd never go into the hut of that mad bastarn Hotboy and steal his bird feeder, which cost him £13 in all, because if he ever found out it was me, he'd rip my spine out.

What's the world coming to? It must have been one of the nice people this time. They re-tied the string that keeps the hut shut. Your usual criminal type just tosses the string aside. What's going through their wee heads? I was more upset by the gin trap not ripping one of their feet off than by losing the bird feeder. I've concealed it a bit better. Maybe it'll get them next time.

So I was doing ra bliss in the hut between daylight and darkness and a wee bit after that. Later on, you can hear the wind getting up. So I went outside and set fire to the big cardboard boxes and some newspapers before coming home. Whoosh! I just love that! You've got the Wuthering Heights wind and lit up castle in the background and the great conflagation... confraglation ... conflagration ... big fire ... centre stage. Flames are on their own somehow. Nothing like them. I love big fires. H0me made Goyas.

There was a beautiful heat in ra bliss tonight. People who don't meditate can never feel as wonderful as this. Wafted away, wafted away, wafted away by ra bliss!

Sunday 1:00 p.m.
Now that one of the evil bourgeois bird feeder stealing basturns has ruined the frontispiece of the webpage for the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, some new thinking must occur. I was hoping the screen would be divided into four with the webcams pointing at
1) Moi, with the australian hat over the jimmy wig, the shades and the false beard.
2) The wren's nest.
3) The allotment and
4) The bird feeder.

Well, there's no bloody bird feeder now, is there? I'll need a replacement for that quarter of the screen. I was thinking of having a continuous game of topless darts going there. This might not do anything for the eastern gentlemen who land on this site looking for hotboys, but may fire the rockets of those arriving looking for the wet teeshirt competitions. What do you think?

It is a beautiful day here and I'm away out on my nazi bike!

Rem Happy Days!

Thursday 5:58 p.m.
Last night I sat watching a film on the teevee with my family, in a lotus with the noise blockers on, the eyes rolled up, as you do. What an amount of ra bliss arose! I was stunned. This was much better than anything that happened at the allotment though sitting there for three hours beforehand must have helped. I'm often getting stunned and astonished by ra bliss, but I'm really on a roll at the moment. What a wonderful thing to have in your life at any time! Such feelings of contentment as well. What a fortunate creature I am! I really don't need anything else.

My heart didn't stop beating and I was still breathing though not much really. Samadhi must come in many gradations. But I'm getting there. How bloody wonderful can life be! This is RaBlissBlog! If you're sad and miserable and feeling sorry for yourself, just give yourself a good slap. And stop being a flatheid. Fancy being a flatheid! I'd blow my brains out, so I would!

The Varieties of Religious Experience is on the web! If you're interested in mysticism at all, you could do a lot worse than google it up and read the lectures on mysticism from that book. It's been a delight to me!

10:30 p.m.
I was feeling very happy today. It's all about ra bliss. If you were getting as much of ra bliss as me, well, you'd be happy as well. You don't have to get much more out of this life than to gain access to ra bliss. Ra bliss out ranks everything, obviously.

I don't need anything to change. I'm getting tons of ra bliss the way things are at the moment. I really feel like one of the luckiest people alive. As for the dead, I'm probably luckier than them, at least just now, because they're dead. And they never even got a sniff of ra bliss anyway. I guess at the end of the day what it comes down to is this: can you, or can you not, do ra bliss? If I can do ra bliss, anybody can do ra bliss! Apart from mentally handicapped people, and idiots. Which one are you, Jack? I keep forgetting you're a spam robot. Hmmm?

Friday 6:24 p.m.
Just checking the blog before going out to do missionary work in the rural wilds of Lanarkshire. Why? You might well ask. Anyway, Ionetics has tagged me to write down ten things you'd never do. I've got to tag two other people, so I'm tagging Mingin and Lee Ann. Ten things you'd never do? Hmmm?

1) Vote tory.
2) Have my breasts augmented. I think they're quite big enough already.
3) Vote to retain the monarchy.
4) Sing Faith of Our Fathers whilst standing in the midst of the hunnish hordes at Ibrox.
5) Say: Wouldn't it be great to be a flatheid!
It's hard this. Apart from murdering your nearest and dearest (Actually, that could happen!), it's hard to think of any more. Need to come back to this. Just been given a five minute call. Have a great weekend everyone! HotboyMadyamikaS.O.B.

Ra Winter Doth Come!

Wednesday 7.00p.m.
I went up to the hut today at 3 p.m. and just sat there till six. I was well wrapped up. I gets dark about four and it was cold, but I didn't really notice. I would have liked to have stayed just sitting there ... I mean, it's uncomplicated. You just sit. You investigate ra bliss. Monitor the thoughts. Anyway, I had to come home because ... well, I live here.

You could see the castle lit up through the trees since the leaves have fallen now, and it did look kind of beautiful from the allotments. Last week I did not feel kind of adjusted to the horrible wintery weather, but I feel alright about it now. The winter has advantages too, one must remember. The allotments are empty of loud voices, and strimmer noises, and people. You can light a fire early evening and look up at the castle through the bare trees. And the cold isn't so cold that you cannot sit.

I didn't cycle to work on Monday or Tuesday, but I was back on the nazi bike today. What a lovely morning it was! It's just getting light as you leave, and you turn at the roundabout in Costorphine beside PC World, and can see the sun coming up and the Pentlands, and I felt very good indeed. But it was Wednesday morning and I don't have to go to work again till Monday. Hallelujah!

Ra Mystical Anaesthetics!

Monday 6:10 p.m.
I went to see a modern beat combo with my chum Poisonous on Saturday. Fortunately, if you can sit anywhere these days and they put down the lights, you can do ra bliss. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! In the pub afterwards, I was trying to tell Poisonous about William James's writings about anaesthetics and mystical experiences.

Chloroform was mentioned. Just up the road from here, James Young Simpson and his pals used to try out such things as chloroform after dinner and a few drinkies. So they're falling about and lying under the dinner tables, etc. Not really much change there except that in those days nobody would dream of arresting you for such shenanigans. So I mentioned this to Poisonous and also the nitrous oxide and ether, which James also mentions. Poisonous assured me that sniffing shoe conditioner was unmatchable. Dearie me.

I wimped out of going to work on the bike this morning. Rain was lashing on the windowpanes. On the way home, it was the same.

The same what?

10:20 p.m.
I got the standing up bliss today. In a tadasana, the mountain pose, the first hatha yoga position really. Then just close your eyes and oft with ra bliss! Ra bliss always works better with your eyes closed. I wish that wasn't so.

I could have a very amusing time if everyone else just died. I mean, everybody. Well, all the flatheids in Edinburgh plus an inpenetrable force field to keep everyone else away. Be great. Eventually, you'd have to fight the rats, but the first couple of years would be great. You'd still have the telly of course.

Invisible particles, eh? There isn't a magnifying glass big enough to let you see the invisible particle!

Ra Pissheads!

Saturday 1:40 p.m.
I was going to go to the hut yesterday about three o clock in the afternoon, but a gust of cold, cold wind blew me into Bert's Bar instead. I must say that for someone completely tee total like myself this was a great thrill. It was warm in there and there was beer and nice music in the background. I was reading William James's The Varieties of Religious Experience:

"Sobriety diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes.... it brings it's votary from the chill perifery of things to the radiant core. It makes him for the moment one with truth... The drunken consciousness is one bit of the mystic consciousness, and our total opinion of it must find its place in our opinion of that larger whole."

Unfortunately, drunknenness also says, "Whit dae ye think you're lookin' at, pal?" and "school librarians, ya bass!", so I am a fortunate creature to have spent all the rest of my overdraft yesterday and will not be able to go to Bert's Bar this afternoon.

How all this is leading to the breathless state with no heart beat, you may well ask? But it is. Yogis, ya bass!

Rem Photons!

Thursday 6:05 p.m.
It all began with the point without a circumference, (Yeah, let's start with the easy mindfungers!) and then there was a Big Bang. Tricky causality questions arise. Why? How? Then maybe thirteen to fifteen billion years later here I am. I yam what I yam! (Popeye the Sailor Man) Then I die. Amazingly enough, in the great swathes of time this is barely noticed.

One swathe of time is known as a kalpa. A kalpa is the length of time it takes for a silk scarf blowing over a square metre of granite to wear it away.

After a few of them kalpas, there's nothing left of the universe except black holes. There is no time in black holes because of the amount of gravity there. But somehow these black holes leak away and, after a wee while longer, all you've got is a lot of photons.

A photon is an invisible particle. What? You mean, being an elemental particle is displays wave particle duality? I think that means you can find it acting like a particle and find it acting like a wave. At the same time. And in different times?

How can a particle be invisible? I don't think a photon has any mass. Has it? No, it must have some mass or it wouldn't be a particle, surely? But if it didn't have any mass, it's easy to see how it would be invisible. Is a photon a particle of energy??? What's energy?

Maybe they proved it was a particle, if massless and invisible, because it hit a bit of paper at the end of a gigantic accelerating machine, and left a wee mark. Exhibit One: the invisible particle's wee mark. But how do we see the wee mark? Hmmm? Dem damn photons again! It's hard to get away from photons once you've heard about them. At the very end of the universe that seems to be what it all amounts to. Lots of photons. It's got to go bang again then.

That's what I liked about the Big Crunch. It goes bang, then crunch, then bang ... Do any of you spam robots know of a good book I could read on this subject? I'm sure it would give me a laugh! Points without circumference? How's about them invisible particles? One hand clapping physicists already!

Another thing I don't know anything about is ... I read once that in further states of realisation (lost you already, Jack?) of emptiness, you can step over a river without the river getting any narrower and your step getting any longer. What could that mean?

I've been to Bellshill today and don't have to engage much with flatheids till Saturday evening. Yahoo! Tonight I'm not going to be a good boy, so ignore anything here after nine pee-em, please!

Ra Filthy Weather!

Tuesday 8:35 p.m.
No wonder all the folk with brains left this country long ago and left us with nobody in Scotland but the severely intellectually challenged ... like moi! So I'm leaving the work at four o clock and it's almost bloody dark already! And the rain is pouring down and I'm on my nazi bike. How did I end up getting to my mid-fifties, being broke, and too stupid to realise that biking is for the summer in this country?

I'll keep doing it due to being broke and it being dead dangerous. I mean, it is! I wear glasses. They don't have windscreen wipers on my glasses anyway. It should be against the law, cycling in the dark with the rain and no windscreen wipers on your glasses! I mean, I can hardly see where I'm going. It shouldn't be allowed, neither it should!

I'm posting tonight because I got a really nice email from Noelle Ashley. She's going to be dead rich and famous, and is a writer from New York. She was also a Miss America contestant for three years in a row and not forty years ago either. (Find a yoga teacher and learn to stop breathing. I'll re-locate my hut to Manhattan when I get rich .... but where would I park my zimmer frame?) She asked if we could link blogs. I emailed and told her I'd love to link blogs with her, but I'm such an old duffer I don't know how. Then, I checked out her jetsetting blog and found this link to RaBlissBlog. That's really sweet! So I'll have to try and find out how to link blogs. Once I have failed again, I will contact Adolf and he's a computer genius and knows about stuff like that.

This is really just for you, Jack, because most folk who come here are too dumb to meditate, and this won't make any sense to them at all!

You're supposed to learn to collect the four blisses if you do this juju. They say you have to heat up a symbol in your head until it melts and the four symbols melt in descending order. Hence, the four blisses. I think the first bliss is described as the absolutely amazing and unforgettable bliss; then they get better.

I don't think you're breathing when this malarkey is going on!

Anyway, though I might be eons from being able to do this, it is creeping up on moi. Or I'm creeping up on it. Slowly slowly catchee monkey.

When you close your eyes, there's like a space there. And zilch. When you're doing ra bliss, this space is much bigger and, well, lighter and blissy. How big can that space get? I'm sure it can get awful, awful big!

If you've got your eyes closed and you're sitting in the light sword, and you start bringing stuff (light) down through the top of your head... well, you can feel something in your head kind of opening up a bit. A good bit more of ra bliss here! Then, you can get some effect from the other three now as well.

It's as if there was a kindness in this. Amazing and wonderful feelings will occur, but nothing too shocking, I think. Every week these days it seems to progress, despite my terrible lack of discipline, but it's going somewhere truly fantastic and it might take a while yet.

So I'm getting some reaction from the four chakras (or those areas) and occasionally the space when your eyes are shut goes ballistic with ra bliss and blows away my arms and legs, and the rest of me as well. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!

Ra Situation's still vacant!

Sunday 5:06 p.m.
I don't suppose many of the regular visitors to the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid (Hello, Jack the Spam Robot!) really expected me to get a literary agent when I set up this bloggy with my really awful looking webpage 18 or so months ago. But, lo!, it has come to pass!

The new book will be a mega blockbuster and sell zillions of copies worldwide because it is about ra bliss. Anyway, now that I have an agent, I can give up being a writer.


Once I've got enough money to give up my job, I'll need a Hut Manager. The ideal candidate for this position would be between 16 and 24, a hatha yogini, a capable exponent of the 64 arts of lurve, able to raise inner heat and to emanate as multi-armed, red, Indian goddess whenever circumstances required. Candidates with IT skills preferred.

Because you'd need to set up four webcams. There's one pointing into the allotment itself. One is pointing at the wren nest. One is point at the bird feeder. The other is pointing at the joe sitting on the floor. I'll wear my Australian hat over the jimmy wig. Also, shades and some kind of false beard. I should be looking at getting these meditations up to twelve hours a day anyway. So what you have to be is the kind of josephine who can set this up and keep it working.

The internet needs a meditator site, where you could log on and meditate with a meditator. Also, the strange reclusive author of the world famous book. This has got to be a winner! Obviously, it would advertise the book. Pet Bereavement Counselling, but only for the extremely rich. I don't mind wearing advertising logos on my simmit.

Be nice to have an Australian woman. Someday I'd like the hut to move to the Nullabor plain, within walking distance of a road house in the middle of baking hot nowhere. Then I could go to the road house sometimes to meet weird people and write a book about emanating as a deity among these odd visitors to this roadhouse ... in the middle of nowhere. Of course, a road train demolishes the road house in the last shot. The steamy scenes with the hut manager emanated as an multi-armed Indian goddess is what the punters will remember best about the movie.

So this is a nice little job for the right Australian woman. You need to be able to do everything and I have to be able to sit there for twelve hours a day. Fifty fifty of all monies accruing as long as I don't have to do anything except flick the on and off switch. What a good deal! The right josephine could clean up!

Ra Formless Bliss!

Friday 12:48 p.m.
Last night when the shadow boxing was over, I switched off the Velvet Underground, and, while still in the complete Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle, sat down on the kitchen floor, and succumbed to ra bliss. Swirling, slipping, sliding, enveloped in warm sweat, and the breathing's still hard, and the heart was going garumpa garumpa, but ra bliss seemed full on right away regardless. Twenty minutes straight of Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle bliss!

I cancelled Bellshill due to the sniffles at quarter to eleven and sat in the lobby till now. Ra bliss was so profound and thick and quite still at times, and I knew myself to be one of the most fortunate of fortunate creatures. Ra bliss was now almost formless. You have a very slight view of your body in this kind of deep, deep bliss. I hardly bothered with the vase breathing, I was so satisfied in ra bliss.

Flatheids get the walking around consciousness. I get that as well. Like, I have to do something and get there and I wish it wasn't so rainy, and, oh well, I've no idea what I'm doing really what with having my head stuck up my backside. But I also get to investigate ra bliss. This makes my life a thing of wonderment. It is sometimes joyful. It has purpose. Shame about you being a flatheid, Jack. But it's not my fault. It really isn't!

5:18 p.m.
What a fabulous day for investigating ra bliss! I had to speak to the Domestic Bliss for half an hour, and I read The Scotsman, but apart from that it's just been ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! Unfortunately, since it is Friday night, I might have to go out and do some missionary work with flatheids, though I would prefer to sit and sit and sit.

I was thinking of giving up calling flatheids flatheids, and calling them the mentally handicapped people instead, but that's not fair on the really mentally handicapped people, is it? Anyway, I don't think I'll ever go back to being a flatheid now. What a nice thought! Who'd want to be a flatheid? Only a flatheid would want to be a flatheid. Dearie me.

Rem Formless Realms!

Thursday 1:24 p.m.
I read once that if you got as far along in the juju as moi, the worst you could hope for when you die was to spend a few eons in the formless realms. Bring on the formless realms! In the formless realms, no one will ask you why you haven't got a microwave oven because, of course, there will be no microwave ovens in the formless realms. Neither will there be any stupid thoughts. We don't believe in thoughts here in Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, so it will be a great relief not to have to put up with them. Beyond the idea of smug satisfcation we will be in the formless realms!

There will be no chariots in the formless realms and, therefore, no chariots to fung you up! My chariot got a puncture yesterday on the way to work. I realised then there was was no such thing as the nazi bike, but a collection of things carrying this label. Fung dukka basturns!

The first noble truth is the truth of dukka! Dukka is what you get when the chariot gets a puncture. The one brake bike (R.I.P.) didn't have a puncture in over twenty years of service, and I haven't fixed a puncture since I was a teenager, and I don't have a pump with me far less a puncture repair outfit! Fung dukka basturns is labelling for the afflictive emotions arising!

In the furthest off chance, I emailed someone at my work whom I thought might have a bicycle pump. This joe came over right away, and took away the bike without me even asking, and fixed the puncture, and brought it back without even a little wrinkle appearing on his forehead. What an amazingly helpful and wonderfully selfless thing to do!

I think some folk look at me and know immediately that I am a completely useless basturn, who can't fix anything and hates things, especially things that go wrong. The people who have their motivation in life pointing in the right direction can use me as a platform to express their helpful attitudes. There are some people like that around. I bumped into one yesterday. I'm not like that!

Now, apparently, I have to purchase accessories for the naz bike, such as, spare innner tubes, spanners, a pump, and a puncture repair outfit. In our Royal Family, if you have to give a urine specimen, you get one of the servants to hold your willie.

Coincidentally, I had to take the nazi bike back to the shop for a post-sale check and I'll be able to buy the accessories when I go back for it.

So I had to cycle the nazi bike somewhere this morning and get a bus back. I'll have to retrieve the bike later and this, doing stuff, has ruined my day. I don't like doing stuff. But it is a beautiful day today. I shall venture out in the nice weather to sit quietly doing nothing elsewhere!

Ra Weekend's Gone!

Monday 5 p.m.
What a great weekend I had! I think the highlight might have been lying in the bath yesterday evening after being out on the nazi bike and doing some yogic jumpings in the kitchen. Soaking in the bath is one of my favourite things, particularly after I've knackered myself training.

As regular readers of this blog (hello, Jack!) will know, I meditate a lot. Since leaving work at noon on Wednesday, I'd done about 20 hours before getting into the bath last night.

Previously, there has been ra bliss while sitting up, lying on the back, and lying on the side. Well, last night was the turn of ra bliss while lying in the bath. After being in there for about half an hour, I really didn't want to get out. The sensation of the water supporting your back like it was a polythene film and being aware of not much more physicality than that was brilliant. It was like ra bliss which blows out your arms and legs, blows them out of the picture of sensation, while lying in the bath. This is an awful lot of ra bliss!

The kiddo and I went to a first night at the Traverse on Saturday, and that was most enjoyable as well! There were three shorter plays on in the one night. The same three actors in each play and almost no sets. Really, they were just using a couple of large boxes. I love stuff like that. You just have the acting, which is always good at the Traverse, and the writing, and it gives newer writers a chance to get something produced while not exposing them too much. It's brilliant that we've got the Traverse in Edinburgh. Interesting as well that in the theatre you can respond emotionally to something you know isn't true.

A lot has changed in my mind since I got a literary agent for my new book. Fancy getting a literary agent! I know all this bloggy and webpage palaver came about to get an agent, but I wasn't really expecting it to happen, not for my new anyway.

There's something I can factor out now. The writing business. I don't have to send letters, parcels, emails ... to agents or publishers anymore. There's not much I can do to help. The writing business is out of my hands. I shouldn't really start writing another book just yet either. I'll wait and see what Adrian Weston can sell and go with that maybe.

It's almost like being normal. I've got my half time job and then oodles of free time. If nothing happens in the publishing front, I'll just set about writing something else. If something does happen .... well, I just want to sit in my hut. Or sit somewhere. Just sit and sit and sit and sit. Being able to sit out the next couple of years ... Oh, what a fortunate creature I'd be then!

Tuesday 1:00 p.m.
There's a puff for the new book here. Really weird to see something like that! Maybe something will happen after all!

Rat Deity Yoga Juju!

Friday 8:36 a.m.
I was up meditating before six this morning. Good boy. On seven out of the last eleven days I've had no pollutants ingested. Good, good boy!

I was saying how clever deity yoga is. You have to remember we're dealing with views here, not the truth. It's finding a more comfortable way of looking at things.

There is only one thing. It might consist of form and emptiness conjoined, but there's only one thing. You are an integral part of that one thing, not a separate part. The separation between you and everything else, this alienation, is the phonus balonus. You want to get rid of that because it breeds anxiety, ra angst!

There are no sentient beings. We arise, abide, and then decline in a great big ocean of consciousness. I have seen that. This does not mean that it is true, but having seen it once for ten seconds, I'm sure that if not true, it is at least more comfortable. So that's where you want to go.

So you're looking a the photie of the lama. The separation that exists between you and him is illusory, like everything else. The lama is turned into Dorje Sempa and has the same mind as Dorje Sempa. You try to see Dorje Sempa kind of hovering over the edge of your mandala (which I'm still rubbish at envisioning!) and you look exactly the same as this light being filled with ra bliss, heat and compassion. You offer everything that exists to the deity. You get the deity over your head, transform it into a light beam and bring it down into you. You are Dorje Sempa in the mandala. You're everything and part of everything. Eventually, that should loosen something up! Isn't that bloody wonderful?

I'm away to Bellshill. That'll be ten percent off the top, please!

5:00 p.m.
On the train back from Bellshill, this big black guy with the African accent starts extolling to everyone in the carraige in this loud booming voice all about Jesus, and God making heaven and hell for the good souls and the disrespectful ones. He hardly stopped for breath between Bellshill and Shotts, about twenty minutes, while these wee Shotts lassies giggled and laughed. As I sat there with my eyes shut doing ra bliss, it was comforting on one level to know that I wasn't the only nutter on the train.

10:28 p.m.
Started hitting the beers half an hour ago! Dearie me!

Accidentally caught this BBC 4 show about time at 7 p.m.

The photon isn't only a particle and a wave. It can exist in two different times. What? Bi-located in time! What?

In black holes time is stopped because of the amount of gravity. (This is Albert Einstein doing our heids in!)

We don't get a big bang followed by a big crunch anymore. We get several different phases of the universe. At some point, there is only black holes left. They leak out. Then we have invisible particles ... yes, photons! ... and time is all funged up. Well, they can exist in time ... different times. Dearie me! All this has completely screwed up my quote. My quote was ... when the interviewer says: How you would like to be remembered, Hotboy? I say: Well before the universe goes crunch, they won't even remember who Jesus Christ was!

After the wonderful BBC Four show about time, I had the most wonderful meditations for nearly two hours. I sat in the first sesssion for one and a half hours and wondered why my legs weren't sore.

I really need to get further under the wing and scrutiny of the Great Buddha, who is my root guru, because ... Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! I'm surrounded by flatheids and I haven't a clue what the fung is going on!

Rem Samadhis again!

Thursday 8:31 a.m.
You wouldn't write in a diary when you were pissed. Always interesting to see what you've done and written the next day on the bloggy. Bad boy!

I feel far better today than I deserve to. And it will be a wonderful day! One's hopes are raised. One's hopes are dashed. One must learn to be equaniminous. And no matter what happens, stay off the piss and do ra bliss!

11:12 a.m.
Hello, you Masai Warriors, martians, alien creatures from outer space, and not forgetting Jack the spam robot! Though your head be as flat as a pancake, at least you have the good fortune to land here on RaBlissBlog where I can tell you about further developments in ra bliss!

Oh, so much bliss! I've just finished the first hour and a half of sitting quietly doing nothing. I'm going to stay in the living room this morning. I kept my eyes closed because I wanted to do ra bliss, and what bliss there was. Despite being a bad boy ... if you don't meditate, just give yourself a good slap! If I can surf the oceans of bliss, anyone can! I've not even been a good boy!

Though there was so much bliss, there wasn't much heat. I started doing some deity yoga and realised how clever it was. Deity yoga is the cleverest thing! You arise, are maintained, and decline simultaneously in the oceans of bliss!

I just closed my eyes after I sat down and it was there! Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! It's almost half past eleven. I expect the best meditation of the day to begin just about now!

10:35 p.m.
Another beautiful day here in Edinburgh. Just like yesterday. I went to the allotment just before two and sat at the edge, not in the hut, and meditated there. Because it was a working day for less fortunate creatures, the allotments are liable to be quiet all afternoon on a Thursday. After about an hour, I dug for an hour, using the spade, not the fork. Speed digging without removing roots and whatnot. Digging with a good steady rhythm. A robin sat on a post and tweeted its head off. I thought I should take the feeder, which I bought on Sunday from the Botanics, out from inside the hut and let the robin have a go at it as well as the wrens, but maybe not. There was real warmth in the sun today when the wind stilled. How odd for Scotland in November!

I didn't weigh in tonight for the shadow boxing, but remembered to weigh myself afterwards. 12 stone 6 pounds. Dearie me! Fung fat drunken basturn! I'm almost back in Jack Dempsey territory again.

The meditations today were wonderful! God knows what they would have been like had I not been on the beer last night. But the Domestic Bliss is going away for the weekend, so tomorrow night I will ... well, I'll be blissed out of my face tomorrow night! What a fortunate, fortunate creature I am!

Rem Samadhis!

Wednesday 23:42 p.m.
Last night, I was very bad. We walked through the wonderful city, Shiva and I, and I begged for three fags. This is not the white way. Also, I was drunk at the time, which is not the way you are supposed to be. Bad boy!

Today, I felt fantastic. A little underpowered as I cycled to work, but I am truly fantastic these days. Is your heid flat, Hotboy? No, I don't think so. Are you surrounded by miserable, flatheided basturns? Of course, you are. You are in false knowledge every time you engage with them. They are false knowledge, Hotboy, because they are too dumb to meditate and cannot engage with ra bliss!

What a fortunate creature you are, you are! What a fortunate creature you are!

Before I got drunk ... so it was cold today in Chilly Jockoland! The sun sent shafts of light onto Interleith Park through the cold, clear day. The trees stood up yellow and golden because of the still Autumnalness. And I looked towards the castle, and the trees wer e yellow bright and golden. I guess they just reflected the sunlight.

I know I do not do so well. But I know that people who do not meditate are stupid and foolish people! When I go to America, I will get a gun, and I will shooty shooty them all, and then there will be no more flatheids .... you will be able to roam the highlands and the lowlands ... there will be no flatheids left. Just to engage with them and simultaneously to shooty shooty them would be wonderful!

Tomorrow I shall go to the allotment and do ra bliss. And the Botanics. Just fung off flatheids! Can you engage in this conversation? Don't think so. Flatheids just don't get ra bliss.