Rem Fings Not To Do!
Saturday 9:40 p.m.
There must be more of those things that you'd never do.
6) I'd never go into the hut of that mad bastarn Hotboy and steal his bird feeder, which cost him £13 in all, because if he ever found out it was me, he'd rip my spine out.
What's the world coming to? It must have been one of the nice people this time. They re-tied the string that keeps the hut shut. Your usual criminal type just tosses the string aside. What's going through their wee heads? I was more upset by the gin trap not ripping one of their feet off than by losing the bird feeder. I've concealed it a bit better. Maybe it'll get them next time.
So I was doing ra bliss in the hut between daylight and darkness and a wee bit after that. Later on, you can hear the wind getting up. So I went outside and set fire to the big cardboard boxes and some newspapers before coming home. Whoosh! I just love that! You've got the Wuthering Heights wind and lit up castle in the background and the great conflagation... confraglation ... conflagration ... big fire ... centre stage. Flames are on their own somehow. Nothing like them. I love big fires. H0me made Goyas.
There was a beautiful heat in ra bliss tonight. People who don't meditate can never feel as wonderful as this. Wafted away, wafted away, wafted away by ra bliss!
Sunday 1:00 p.m.
Now that one of the evil bourgeois bird feeder stealing basturns has ruined the frontispiece of the webpage for the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, some new thinking must occur. I was hoping the screen would be divided into four with the webcams pointing at
1) Moi, with the australian hat over the jimmy wig, the shades and the false beard.
2) The wren's nest.
3) The allotment and
4) The bird feeder.
Well, there's no bloody bird feeder now, is there? I'll need a replacement for that quarter of the screen. I was thinking of having a continuous game of topless darts going there. This might not do anything for the eastern gentlemen who land on this site looking for hotboys, but may fire the rockets of those arriving looking for the wet teeshirt competitions. What do you think?
It is a beautiful day here and I'm away out on my nazi bike!
There must be more of those things that you'd never do.
6) I'd never go into the hut of that mad bastarn Hotboy and steal his bird feeder, which cost him £13 in all, because if he ever found out it was me, he'd rip my spine out.
What's the world coming to? It must have been one of the nice people this time. They re-tied the string that keeps the hut shut. Your usual criminal type just tosses the string aside. What's going through their wee heads? I was more upset by the gin trap not ripping one of their feet off than by losing the bird feeder. I've concealed it a bit better. Maybe it'll get them next time.
So I was doing ra bliss in the hut between daylight and darkness and a wee bit after that. Later on, you can hear the wind getting up. So I went outside and set fire to the big cardboard boxes and some newspapers before coming home. Whoosh! I just love that! You've got the Wuthering Heights wind and lit up castle in the background and the great conflagation... confraglation ... conflagration ... big fire ... centre stage. Flames are on their own somehow. Nothing like them. I love big fires. H0me made Goyas.
There was a beautiful heat in ra bliss tonight. People who don't meditate can never feel as wonderful as this. Wafted away, wafted away, wafted away by ra bliss!
Sunday 1:00 p.m.
Now that one of the evil bourgeois bird feeder stealing basturns has ruined the frontispiece of the webpage for the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, some new thinking must occur. I was hoping the screen would be divided into four with the webcams pointing at
1) Moi, with the australian hat over the jimmy wig, the shades and the false beard.
2) The wren's nest.
3) The allotment and
4) The bird feeder.
Well, there's no bloody bird feeder now, is there? I'll need a replacement for that quarter of the screen. I was thinking of having a continuous game of topless darts going there. This might not do anything for the eastern gentlemen who land on this site looking for hotboys, but may fire the rockets of those arriving looking for the wet teeshirt competitions. What do you think?
It is a beautiful day here and I'm away out on my nazi bike!
posted by Hotboy at 9:46 PM
12 Comments:
Did you call the polis about the bird feeder? I would. Have always found the police extremely helpful, even when being arrested.
Ion: I'm thinking of requesting round the clock CCTV coverage! I'm scared to phone them though in case I get held under trumped up charges of impersonating a deity! Hotboy
I say!
I'd like to recommend 'Armed Response' security for 24/7 cover. Works a treat in Kalimbuka. We havn't been burgled since I signed with them.
Once a month we have a 'false alarm' (which is encouraged by the security firm) when I press the panic button. Within 5 minutes a bakkie arrives, four beefy lads in black, with full body armour, arrive, jump over the fence and approach the house from all angles, weapons at the ready. The only way to stop them is to shout the password.
I tried this only once when I'd 'had a few', and found the site so impressive that I nearly forgot what the password was.
Abdul (our night watchman) is terrified of them, and so are the criminals.
MM III
Mingin! What a helpful suggestion! I think your creekit team could have done with that mob invading the park as soon as the game started. It would have helped! Hotboy
Mingin'! Stay off the jungle juice in case you phone up these guys and ask them to get their dukes up! Hotboy
dashing at the basturds naked and with or without a bedside lamp screaming obsenities usually works for me..
how dare they?! what makes their birds any needier than yours?? bloody cheek.
and the police around here are rubbish. i don't know how they'd do in flathead country but here is moustachland they just flick sticky black soot all over the place, walk it around with their boots, and leave all the door open when they leave without telling you.
and then pick up random sorts of poor buggers on the street who look nothing like bird fanciers at all.
the topless darts is a great idea though.. as long as you manage to get justin timberlake and sean penn in on the game.
The old dear says she's sent me a package for Xmas. Apparently she had to write on the customs declaration "bird feeder". Does that help?
Re-tying the string - if there's honour among thieves now, the world's really falling apart.
Have you considered joining the security services yourself, HB? You already wear the uniform of jimmy hat, BMRV and sunglasses, and possess the misanthropy required for the job. Imagine the satisfaction of being paid to rip out spines.
Ion: Unfortunately, Buddhists aren't allowed to kill things. Anyway, disappoving of flatheids doesn't make me a misanthrope. But if they committed suicide that would definitely help in the long run! Hotboy.
I am sorry your birdfeeder got stolen! Crazy people!
I hope you are having a blissful day!
Lee Ann: Nobody should steal somebody's birdfeeder! But maybe he stole it to give the robins a chance. It was an inside the hut birdfeeder ... anyway, I think we should nuke him! Hotboy.
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