Ris Wonderful life!
Monday 10:00 p.m.
This is the first day of giving up everything really; the first day back to work. So far I've only had four beers, but I felt awful cold and lonely and lonesome, and down in the bar the barmaids are very nice, and the beer is good, and the footie is on. ...
Bad thought arise due to the aftermath of the beers. Good thoughts often arise whilst partaking in the beers. To find the perfect balance between these good and bad thoughts ... Why can't they come and shoot me now? I don't mind not having thoughts. What's the point of all these thoughts? Put your hand up if you've ever had an original one? I mean, an original thought. I suspected that there would be no hands up for that one. Okay, can anyone here do ra bliss? Unfortunately, no hands up for that one either. Well, I take my hat off to you flatheids. I couldn't cope without huge doses of ra bliss and the weird accompanying changes in perception.
Things to look forward to this year:
1) The allotment is converted into a court for the Australian Ladies Volleyball Team.
2) This is my final throw of the dice: the juju accelerates so fast due to me giving everything up again and again that uncontrollable bursts of pleasure going up and down my spine make it impossible for me to hold down my job. I get carted out of the library and taken to secure accomodation and I'm given three square meals a day! Yes! Yes! Doctor, doctor, I can't stamp the books because of ra bliss!
3) The agent, Mr Adrian Weston, a man of great taste and perspicacity, makes me filthy rich and I give all the money away. But at the same time because of the steady drip drip of money, I can also give the half job away. Yahoo!
I know I'm not going to get out of this alive, Jack. I know that the burden on me is very slight and always has been. I have always been a fortunate and usually quite irresponsible joe. So drag me off to jail, ya basturns! One with a teevee, a toilet, a shower, and an internet connection. And a dead rat! What company that would be!
Imagine my life just trundled on, the way lives do. I don't get the new book published and I have to keep up the job, and I don't write anymore. And I really don't have any money for beers! It won't just be a lot of new Mondays. There's Niagara flowing in the background, and it's only silent till you try to tune in and then it's just getting louder and louder, and I don't know why it seems to grow in strength. I don't know anyone one else this is happening to, but there aren't many joes like moi doing this weird Tibetan juju, is there? Why is that, Hotboy? Have you ever thought of that? Yes, Jack, I have thought of that. If they want to go around with their heads stuck up their bottoms, as long as they're happy, that's wonderful, and well done to them, says I.
You can hear the sound of the car tyres squishing through the rain sodden streets three floors below. The general tone of the weather should tell you something about the desirabilty of a living space. Scottish weather can tell you to fung off for day after day. No wonder I'm surrounded in the street by such sour faced basturns. Heroic and daft for being here at the same time.
I should try to get these calvinist basturns to adopt my lifestyle. You sit in the hut all day and when the rain comes on the whole of the Australian Ladies Volleyball Squad asks you for shelter. Screeching and yelping, bouncing volleyball babes. What a fabulously successful webcam shot that would make!
This is the first day of giving up everything really; the first day back to work. So far I've only had four beers, but I felt awful cold and lonely and lonesome, and down in the bar the barmaids are very nice, and the beer is good, and the footie is on. ...
Bad thought arise due to the aftermath of the beers. Good thoughts often arise whilst partaking in the beers. To find the perfect balance between these good and bad thoughts ... Why can't they come and shoot me now? I don't mind not having thoughts. What's the point of all these thoughts? Put your hand up if you've ever had an original one? I mean, an original thought. I suspected that there would be no hands up for that one. Okay, can anyone here do ra bliss? Unfortunately, no hands up for that one either. Well, I take my hat off to you flatheids. I couldn't cope without huge doses of ra bliss and the weird accompanying changes in perception.
Things to look forward to this year:
1) The allotment is converted into a court for the Australian Ladies Volleyball Team.
2) This is my final throw of the dice: the juju accelerates so fast due to me giving everything up again and again that uncontrollable bursts of pleasure going up and down my spine make it impossible for me to hold down my job. I get carted out of the library and taken to secure accomodation and I'm given three square meals a day! Yes! Yes! Doctor, doctor, I can't stamp the books because of ra bliss!
3) The agent, Mr Adrian Weston, a man of great taste and perspicacity, makes me filthy rich and I give all the money away. But at the same time because of the steady drip drip of money, I can also give the half job away. Yahoo!
I know I'm not going to get out of this alive, Jack. I know that the burden on me is very slight and always has been. I have always been a fortunate and usually quite irresponsible joe. So drag me off to jail, ya basturns! One with a teevee, a toilet, a shower, and an internet connection. And a dead rat! What company that would be!
Imagine my life just trundled on, the way lives do. I don't get the new book published and I have to keep up the job, and I don't write anymore. And I really don't have any money for beers! It won't just be a lot of new Mondays. There's Niagara flowing in the background, and it's only silent till you try to tune in and then it's just getting louder and louder, and I don't know why it seems to grow in strength. I don't know anyone one else this is happening to, but there aren't many joes like moi doing this weird Tibetan juju, is there? Why is that, Hotboy? Have you ever thought of that? Yes, Jack, I have thought of that. If they want to go around with their heads stuck up their bottoms, as long as they're happy, that's wonderful, and well done to them, says I.
You can hear the sound of the car tyres squishing through the rain sodden streets three floors below. The general tone of the weather should tell you something about the desirabilty of a living space. Scottish weather can tell you to fung off for day after day. No wonder I'm surrounded in the street by such sour faced basturns. Heroic and daft for being here at the same time.
I should try to get these calvinist basturns to adopt my lifestyle. You sit in the hut all day and when the rain comes on the whole of the Australian Ladies Volleyball Squad asks you for shelter. Screeching and yelping, bouncing volleyball babes. What a fabulously successful webcam shot that would make!
posted by Hotboy at 10:04 PM
6 Comments:
Was it the beers or the bliss that made you so happy? Maybe the balance between the two, who knows. I have sad news about the Australian Ladies Volleyball team; there are no ladies in Australia except Pauline Hanson. However there may be a Sheilas' Volleyball team...
If you were in the cave looking through your telescope, you'd see me flat on my back with all hands and legs on the air. Original thoughts are about the only thing I can do. I'll be posting a photo of another one of them very soon. Oh yes!
Granted, I cannot do ra bliss, but one out of two's not bad.
The only rule that works for me is never to have a second beer. It never tastes as good as the first one, and by the third one I don't care about the taste. You could try that.
Most days I already have the solitary cell with the dead rat and the broadband and the fridge full of home brew for medicinal purposes. Imagine what a world it would be if everybody else lived like this too! What a fortunate etc. And I would have remained blissfully content with this arrangement if you hadn't pointed out what's missing, the Volleyball Team. That didn't help. Now I'm going to have to learn ra bliss to blot out the fleshly longings. Dearie dearie me.
PS - enjoyed this post immensely. One day, maybe even this year, you'll be charging readers for every post, so I'm getting in now while it's still free. I like to think this makes me an "early adopter" rather than a cheapskate.
Ion - I see I don't need to tell you, Pauline Hanson is a national embarrassment, a bit like her initialsake Paris Hilton but without the brains. Bovine racism instead of looks. Even the retired nazis here don't talk to her.
too many questions but not in the right mind state to start giving out unsolicited advices. amidst the confusion of limbic proportions you definitely are one unhappy person.
for all its worth J.,I'm sorry.
This may be too elementary for you, but someone just sent me a link to a site full of free buddhist audio. Any good? Awra best fae Rob.
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Tequila: If you think I'm unhappy, you should see ther rest of the buggers around here!
Adolf! Heil! You're right! I'll have to get broadband for the hut. I'm looking forward to the photie of the original thought. That would help!Also, I'll check out the audio site later.
Ion: The topless darts on the frontispiece of the webpage would have gotten tedious after a few years. I wouldn't expect you to agree, but volleyball does it for me! Hotboy
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