Ra News of My Death ....
Friday 9:20 p.m.
.... has been greatly exaggerated!
A letter addressed to the representative of my auld maw arrived from the Ministry of Defence. My old man got a bit knackered fighting Adolf Hitler, so my auld maw gets a war widow's pension. Well, they'd stopped it. Since she was dead. They were asking for the original death certificate.
This caused much hilarity in Bellshill. My sister phoned up the M.O.D. and said my auld maw didn't look dead since she was sitting in the room with her. She gave my maw the phone. They offerred to send in the counsellers to deal with the trauma. My maw said no to that, but said if they were going to send her a wreath, send her one without any lillies in it as she wasn't so found of them! (This is a joke best understood if you know about the sectarianism in the west of Scotland)
I thought I felt a new sensation today, Jack. Quite a nice one as well, I must say! It was on he train to Bellshill. How often are you going to hear a middle aged flatheid saying something like that?
Flatheids just don't get ra bliss!
I'm on day 10 on the planet with no beer. No withdrawal symptoms, no cravings, no money, fat basturn!
Ricky Hatton is fighting tomorrow night in the States. I think Ring Magazine made him boxer of the year last year, something like that, but I've never seen him fight because I haven't got satellite teevee. He goes into training for fights regularly at 13 stone and fights at light welter (10 stone!). One year he had four fights and lost 13 stone in fat over that year. He's an inspirational figure to fat basturns like me that boy, so he is!
.... has been greatly exaggerated!
A letter addressed to the representative of my auld maw arrived from the Ministry of Defence. My old man got a bit knackered fighting Adolf Hitler, so my auld maw gets a war widow's pension. Well, they'd stopped it. Since she was dead. They were asking for the original death certificate.
This caused much hilarity in Bellshill. My sister phoned up the M.O.D. and said my auld maw didn't look dead since she was sitting in the room with her. She gave my maw the phone. They offerred to send in the counsellers to deal with the trauma. My maw said no to that, but said if they were going to send her a wreath, send her one without any lillies in it as she wasn't so found of them! (This is a joke best understood if you know about the sectarianism in the west of Scotland)
I thought I felt a new sensation today, Jack. Quite a nice one as well, I must say! It was on he train to Bellshill. How often are you going to hear a middle aged flatheid saying something like that?
Flatheids just don't get ra bliss!
I'm on day 10 on the planet with no beer. No withdrawal symptoms, no cravings, no money, fat basturn!
Ricky Hatton is fighting tomorrow night in the States. I think Ring Magazine made him boxer of the year last year, something like that, but I've never seen him fight because I haven't got satellite teevee. He goes into training for fights regularly at 13 stone and fights at light welter (10 stone!). One year he had four fights and lost 13 stone in fat over that year. He's an inspirational figure to fat basturns like me that boy, so he is!
posted by Hotboy at 9:17 PM
5 Comments:
Can you suggest an inspirational person for me? How about this?
Adolf! Heil! "This" says 530 error, no login, or something. Dearie me. What happened to the old teutonic thoroughness, eh? Time you laid off the penguins, Adolf! That would help! Hotboy
I say!
10 days without beer! Is that a record?
That site of RobMcJ's was an ftp.
MM III
What is to become of your mom and her death situation?
Lee Ann: Since the Ministry of Defense has agreed that she is alive, they just re-instated her pension. I suppose in the states they might have got sued for millions (trauma!), but not from my auld maw. Hotboy
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