Ra Beautiful Game!
Saturday 1:55 p.m.
Whilst waiting for the Englanders to get cuffed by Paraquay. Come on, whoever you are!
God save our gracious Queen/Long may she serve ice cream and candy floss/ We are victorious/ Half a loaf between the four of us/Thank God there's no more of us/ God save the Queen!
I've tried to support Rangers in Europe. I've tried to be a little Englander, but I'm afraid ... well, just get stuck in Paraquay! It's hot in Germany. I hope it's really hot in Paraquay. Kick off!
2:05 p.m.
What a pile of dingo's bollocks! Paraquay have lost already. Goalie off and England one nil up.
It's a well known fact that the best football players in the world come from Bellshill, which just happens to be where I played football when I was kid. This is not exactly true. The best football players in the world come from Viewpark, which isn't even a town, but is separated from Bellshill by a couple of fields. Jimmy Johnstone, the best football player who ever lived, came from Viewpark.
When Tommy Docherty was in charge of the Scottish national team, he held a practice game, but had to abandon it. In practice games you wouldn't be allowed to foul. Nobody in the Scottish team could get the ball off Jimmy Johnstone, so the manager stopped the game.
Football, as I knew it in Bellshill, was mainly about taking the piss. I played in teams till I broke my collar bone when I was seventeen, but the best football games were played without proper parks, referees, or sometime even without a decent ball. Sometimes the game had to be abandoned because the owner of the ball had to go home for his tea. Also, it was mainly played in the summer, or at least in good weather.
You could go anywhere around that area of North Lanarkshire and if there were two of you, you could always get a game. It was normal for the best player to be given to the team that was losing and vice versa. The game sometimes lasted all afternoon, sometimes all evening in the summer. We played football the way Aboriginals do route marches. Sometimes you'd be chasing after someone who didn't have the ball! Sometimes you'd stop for a while and sit and have a chat, or more likely a wrestle.
People who pick football teams want winners. These are generally disturbed individuals who get really upset when they get beaten. When you get beaten in a football game, why take it personnally? There's eleven of you for God sake! It's not like boxing when you can tell the extent of your defeat by looking in the mirror!
Anyway, us Scots can't support England. They still show you programmes about how they won the World Cup in 1966 for God sake! But rarely in these programmes do they mention that the next year the English played Scotland at Wembilee in what was probably the best football game ever. We destroyed these so called world champions 3-2. Who can ever forget Jim Baxter playing keepy uppy with the ball then putting over the boy's head and Dennis Law taking it down on his chest? Now, that's taking the piss!! That's real football!
I was still trying to support England till a few nights ago when there was an English programme on about the best World Cup goal ever. They gave a prize to this Brazillian from 1970 who finished off a move ... well, he just finished it off. God almighty! Everyone knows the best goal ever was the one Maradona scored against England in 1986. How many English players did he leave in his wake? Seven was it? Eight? Obviously, the second best goal was the one Ronaldinho scored from the forty yard free kick, the one that went over Seaman's head and into the net. Perfect piss taking goal! Unfortunately, these goals were scored against the Sassannachs (aka the English imperialist swine!), so they couldn't be best, surely not.
The game of this group will be Sweden versus England. Go Henrik Larsson, go!
Whilst waiting for the Englanders to get cuffed by Paraquay. Come on, whoever you are!
God save our gracious Queen/Long may she serve ice cream and candy floss/ We are victorious/ Half a loaf between the four of us/Thank God there's no more of us/ God save the Queen!
I've tried to support Rangers in Europe. I've tried to be a little Englander, but I'm afraid ... well, just get stuck in Paraquay! It's hot in Germany. I hope it's really hot in Paraquay. Kick off!
2:05 p.m.
What a pile of dingo's bollocks! Paraquay have lost already. Goalie off and England one nil up.
It's a well known fact that the best football players in the world come from Bellshill, which just happens to be where I played football when I was kid. This is not exactly true. The best football players in the world come from Viewpark, which isn't even a town, but is separated from Bellshill by a couple of fields. Jimmy Johnstone, the best football player who ever lived, came from Viewpark.
When Tommy Docherty was in charge of the Scottish national team, he held a practice game, but had to abandon it. In practice games you wouldn't be allowed to foul. Nobody in the Scottish team could get the ball off Jimmy Johnstone, so the manager stopped the game.
Football, as I knew it in Bellshill, was mainly about taking the piss. I played in teams till I broke my collar bone when I was seventeen, but the best football games were played without proper parks, referees, or sometime even without a decent ball. Sometimes the game had to be abandoned because the owner of the ball had to go home for his tea. Also, it was mainly played in the summer, or at least in good weather.
You could go anywhere around that area of North Lanarkshire and if there were two of you, you could always get a game. It was normal for the best player to be given to the team that was losing and vice versa. The game sometimes lasted all afternoon, sometimes all evening in the summer. We played football the way Aboriginals do route marches. Sometimes you'd be chasing after someone who didn't have the ball! Sometimes you'd stop for a while and sit and have a chat, or more likely a wrestle.
People who pick football teams want winners. These are generally disturbed individuals who get really upset when they get beaten. When you get beaten in a football game, why take it personnally? There's eleven of you for God sake! It's not like boxing when you can tell the extent of your defeat by looking in the mirror!
Anyway, us Scots can't support England. They still show you programmes about how they won the World Cup in 1966 for God sake! But rarely in these programmes do they mention that the next year the English played Scotland at Wembilee in what was probably the best football game ever. We destroyed these so called world champions 3-2. Who can ever forget Jim Baxter playing keepy uppy with the ball then putting over the boy's head and Dennis Law taking it down on his chest? Now, that's taking the piss!! That's real football!
I was still trying to support England till a few nights ago when there was an English programme on about the best World Cup goal ever. They gave a prize to this Brazillian from 1970 who finished off a move ... well, he just finished it off. God almighty! Everyone knows the best goal ever was the one Maradona scored against England in 1986. How many English players did he leave in his wake? Seven was it? Eight? Obviously, the second best goal was the one Ronaldinho scored from the forty yard free kick, the one that went over Seaman's head and into the net. Perfect piss taking goal! Unfortunately, these goals were scored against the Sassannachs (aka the English imperialist swine!), so they couldn't be best, surely not.
The game of this group will be Sweden versus England. Go Henrik Larsson, go!
posted by Hotboy at 1:58 PM
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