Thursday, October 05, 2006

Ra Get Me Out of Here!

Thusday 11:05 p.m.
I went to see my friend with the M.S. today so that her husband could do some messages. She's handling life, I think, much better than me. She was parked at the window. The room is very dull behind her, but out the window it is very green. They have a lovely garden.

The more I do this, the less I'll speak, but today I tried to tell her about the false sense of self and the second noble truth.

Suffering is caused by desire based on ignorance of your own true self.

Suffering is caused by actions and delusions based on ignorance of your own true self.

I discovered from reading this book in the summer that the first turning of the wheel of the juju is .... negate the false sense of self in the joe/josephine. You don't have to do anything else. You can forget all about the outside of the joe/josephine, I think. Just do that. It's the first analytical meditation. You calm your mind and just do that. It's not easy. Finding the thing to be negated is not easy.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Bellshill, but being surrounded by disablement is doing my head in, so I'll just get drunk and go to Bellshill on Saturday.

Someone who is talking to me is William James. He was resolving the problems of the sick minds in this lecture, using Tolstoy and John Bunyan. God! What a fortunate creature I am! I've never had the suicidal despairs. They must be awful. Why don't more people just kill themselves, especially calvinists and other protestants who are not allowed to sing, dance, laugh, or tell jokes.

He says St Augustine put it better than anyone. I've got a job in a school called after him. Only me and the nun know anything about him. Interestingly, William James says someone spotted a wee lie in his Confessions. I think his Confessions are the first autobiography. That can't be right. Anyway, pretty early in biographical history.

It's about the divided self. Do you feel evil when your banging your brain out? Or is there an evilness in there? He talks about lust and ra spirit. William James, one feels, wants to get us to arrive at the distant shore where you can be a saint and not have a willie, or a whatever you have if you're a babes. Like, what are we going to do with lust?

In the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, we must celebrate lust, and being on the piss, and all that sensational stuff. Sacraments of bonking. And I love you to, babes! Nobody gets left behind!

2 Comments:

Blogger ion said...

That sounds like rather a bad day. You know that there can be no God when good people suffer and utter bastards roll in lilies. But the James fellow is obviously a comfort, as well as St. Augustine. Wasn't he the one who really hated women, or was that St Paul? I will have to google.

10:09 AM  
Blogger Hotboy said...

Ion: I think St Paul said you should marry if you can't stand the torture. Maybe he had a scabby face. I think so. Anyway, he funged up Christianity for sure. St Augustine said babes before six months old had committed hundred of mortal sins by yelling and crying all the time. Obviously, he was dead right there! As to whether or not there is a God ... well, he could be a bit of a bastard. No, it wasn't a great day yesterday. But march on! Hotboy

5:49 PM  

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