Ra Expanding Earth!
Thursday 4:10p.m.
Adolf has put me off writing my new novel. I think it would be better if I tried to find some young women to impress, and then impressed them with my tricks. After I have impressed them with my tricks, I could then try to rent them THE MIRACLE EARTH.
For only a few thousand a year, or a growing season, you can now rent a plant pot full of earth from the Holy Allotment. You provide your own turnip seed and water. You watch the turnip grow and then take it out of the earth. Proceed to eat the turnip. Put the turnip leaves back onto the earth. Weigh the earth and the turnip leaves separately. Yes! The earth weighs the same as before! The turnip leaves have added to the total weight. Where did the weight of the turnip leaves come from? It came from water and nutrients in the soil. Ha, ha, ha! It seems the turnip appeared due to invisible sources. Something you couldn't really see was going on, but you still got to eat the turnip.
So the allotment must be expanding. If I wipe the earth off the vegetables and throw the leaves from the turnip on the ground, the earth as a whole should be expanding. Something is adding, or you wouldn't get the added weight from the turnip leaves, which you do not eat. Did the allotment grow the turnip, or not? Did the earth grow me?
The basturns who are stealing my allotment had better watch out. Even if they are old and cannot run too fast due to the earthbags on their legs, I will hunt them down. Since you are not allowed to have a gun in Scotland, I will insult them instead. As a deity! They won't like that!
Adolf has put me off writing my new novel. I think it would be better if I tried to find some young women to impress, and then impressed them with my tricks. After I have impressed them with my tricks, I could then try to rent them THE MIRACLE EARTH.
For only a few thousand a year, or a growing season, you can now rent a plant pot full of earth from the Holy Allotment. You provide your own turnip seed and water. You watch the turnip grow and then take it out of the earth. Proceed to eat the turnip. Put the turnip leaves back onto the earth. Weigh the earth and the turnip leaves separately. Yes! The earth weighs the same as before! The turnip leaves have added to the total weight. Where did the weight of the turnip leaves come from? It came from water and nutrients in the soil. Ha, ha, ha! It seems the turnip appeared due to invisible sources. Something you couldn't really see was going on, but you still got to eat the turnip.
So the allotment must be expanding. If I wipe the earth off the vegetables and throw the leaves from the turnip on the ground, the earth as a whole should be expanding. Something is adding, or you wouldn't get the added weight from the turnip leaves, which you do not eat. Did the allotment grow the turnip, or not? Did the earth grow me?
The basturns who are stealing my allotment had better watch out. Even if they are old and cannot run too fast due to the earthbags on their legs, I will hunt them down. Since you are not allowed to have a gun in Scotland, I will insult them instead. As a deity! They won't like that!
posted by Hotboy at 4:07 PM
8 Comments:
Hotboy, don't let them get away with it. Protect it so you can keep growing those turnips!
Thanks, Lee Ann! I take that as a license to kill!I could bury dead people there. Except I'd like to be there myself pushing up the daisies. Prime spot in the beautiful, wonderful city. Hotboy.
LA - you can adapt the sauerkraut recipe to make pickled turnips. I tried that, and look what happened to me.
HB - why focus on the negative? Immortality through bliss work! Strength through joy! Bury the earth-thieves as fertiliser, saves buying blood and bone.
My Dearest Hotboy,
Doviko has apparently read your most recent entry and has asked me what a turnip is. At least, I assume that is what has happened, as he was using the Internet (as allowed, in order to improve his education) during his afternoon break, and seemed most interested in the topic before he knocked off.
In gardens hereabouts, the soil is poor, and it is imperative to add fertilizer both before and after planting seeds. He is taken with the concept of earth which does not seem to require such nourishments, as this would save him, and others in the villages, a small fortune.
Could you post me a packet of Brassica napus seeds? I presume they won't grow hereabouts, but its worth a try.
MM III
Carsehole - I don't appreciate it at all. But thanks for the useful link.
MM - you can adapt the sauerkraut recipe to make pickled broccoli, which might help until the seeds arrive.
Doviko - can adapt sauerkraut recipe for make pickled maize, but many holes in basket. Get boss buy jeelie jars. Hope this help.
Dear Robmcj,
Here is a picture which shows available ingredients, hereabouts.
MM III
MM - Thanks for the link to the mounds of cabbages. The red things look tasty too. Can they be pickled at all?
HB - you are either unwell, or just immersed in the penguin meditation songbook. Do you want me to do the artwork for the cover as well, or just the singing? Try and give me plenty of warning, I'm a busy man.
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