Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Ra Agenting Classes.

Somebody from Ed Victor clicked on the blog yesterday! Hitesh Shah probably. I like to send things to folk with interesting names. Sophie Hicks works there. She didn't want Light in the Dark, but I think her people might have read it. They seemed to have. That was the one of maybe three agents I got to have a look at that in three years trying. I'm going to re-write the beginning (cut out the "suddenlys") and go again with that book after I've finished the one I'm on just now. Kids I gave it to in a blind test really liked it.

I sent out twenty one emails today to agents. I got a really nice reply telling me to fung off from Zoe at Pollinger. The human beings are rarely listed. Will Francis of Greene and Heaton asked for three chapters of the book I'm working on just now, but I sent him one chapter by email and asked him to look at this blog. Agents will all be flatheids of course.

I sent the email to Pat Kavanagh of PFD asking her what she thought of it. A score out of ten perhaps. She might actually reply since she's far too rich to bother with someone like me. But if I was in her position I'd certainly not be bothered reading books. Menus. Bottle labels. Maybe emails. Definitely cheques.

Got an email from the Samye Ling yesterday. The Doctor is looking for help from brickies and joiners. I'd love to do something like that, but I'm completely useless. My old man helped build Sacred Heart chapel in Bellshill. Sometimes it makes me look at it differently. He was a brickie. If there was a lot of work about, being a tradesman is the best job in the world!

This morning's meditation was startling bright, white and blissful. I didn't get started today till half six, so I stuck with the straight emptiness stuff. How cares about bloody agents? If it wasn't for the poor starving orphans!

Pat Kavanagh sent me another really nice email. She's got a client list full of people who can actually write so there's no chance for a scribbler like me. I sent her the start of the current novel though I'd sent it into PFD months ago. Also, I got a nice email from Robin Jones at Imrie Dervis. So that's not bad really. Three contacts for twenty emails. I need to find lucky young persons who are just starting in the business of making money from writing. I'd like to actually libel some people, but everyone has been really okay. Useless but okay.

When I've got through all the agents in Britain, maybe I'll start on ones in the Unheard of and McDonald Islands. Brian Wilson says he's headed for there since this country is full of vegetarians and folk who can only speak Gaelic. Hotboy


Blogger Nobis Ralwin (anag) said...

Everything was going OK until the gorillas took over the McDonald Island Medical Institute (MIMI).

Maybe they've taken over the entire island. How would I know? They won't let me get further than the bougainvillea.

Anagrams can't live off bananas!

Send armed troups.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Nobis Ralwin (anag) said...

The gorillas have agreed to a cricket match!

Gorilla XI v Anagram XI

They said they'd let Pluto out of solitary for the duration of the match. Pluto is 6ft 8ins and built like a tank. If only I can convince him to let go of the ball when he bowls, we're in with a chance.

The gorillas have insisted on plastic bats and plastic stumps.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow!

NR (anag)

4:39 PM  
Blogger Alison Main said...

Dear Brian,

I hope the cricket match goes well.

I have never seen cricket played, but I have read about it. It seems, to me, to be a very peculiar 'game'.

I understand that if you score, then it is not a maiden. That you should wear boxes at all times, and be alert to ball tampering by the other team. You should also watch out for their googlies.

This certainly sounds like a game for perverts, and I am surprised that it is encouraged by a medical institute.

It has, however, given me ideas for a new book, which I have tentitively entitled:

"Boys! Are you cricketers?"

All my love, and if you intend to score tomorrow, please do not forget to wear protection.


5:58 PM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

To be honest, I can find no mention of the 'McDonald Island Medical Institute' (MIMI) in Google, and therefore doubt whether Brian is an inmate there. He sounds more than a little confused, which is not surprising in the circumstances.

But talking about 'Mimi' reminds me of the last time I sailed on Lake Tanganyika. I'm sure we discovered the remains of Mimi, one of Geoffrey Spicer-Simpson's two gunboats. It was rather hidden by reeds, and we couldn't investigate it properly because of the nearby hippo family, but by all accounts it matched historic descriptions.


6:10 PM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I should have added to the last post that Geoffrey Spicer-Simpson was a very distant relative of mine, and that retracing his steps was the reason for our expedition to Tanganyika in the early eighties.


6:13 PM  
Blogger robmcj said...

Menzies, thanks for the information about your relative, Lt-Commander (later Cmdr) Geoffrey Spicer Simpson DSO and tattoos.

My own father, Lt-Cmdr Jock McJob was undecorated, but he was known to entertain the natives at our house, by means of a wet hand cupped under his armpit. If proof is required, I can arrange a showing of an 8mm. family home movie in the village hall for Brian when he gets here. Sadly there is no soundtrack but I can arrange sound effects or Brian can bring his own.

rel=nofollow>Leading seaman (school cadets, non-uniform platoon) R McJob (anag)

11:50 PM  
Blogger robmcj said...

Oops, that's what happens when you copy bits of other people's HTML without understanding it.

Low Brain Sin (anag), I'm afraid the news of your visit has leaked out here, and left me in the embarrassing position of not knowing whether to deny everything. Why didn't you tell me you were coming and I could have met you at the pier? If you still prefer to travel incognito please get your people to issue a denial, and I can coordinate the cover story at this end.

I'm impressed that you have heard of MIMI, let me know if you want me to make an appointment for you. I still have some influence in that quarter.

Meanwhile, I am today starting an extra brew of Penguin's Peculiar to cater for your entourage.

See you, robmcj

2:04 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

Maybe someone could explain how all this relates to meditation or getting published.

4:19 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

I take it NR is an anagram of RN, but how could Nobis have foreseen that the conversation would later take a nautical turn? Spooky.

4:23 AM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...


Your father Jock - where was he stationed?


8:45 AM  
Blogger Nobis Ralwin (anag) said...

The gorillas postponed the match. Something to do with a 'sticky dog'. What a disappointment!

robmcj - are you an inmate of MIMI as well? Which ward are you in? Do the gorillas allow you out at all?

Perhaps we could meet behind the bougainvillea?


8:50 AM  
Blogger Karih Beehan said...

This is my firs time write from Bangalore.

K. Beehan

8:56 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

mm III - Shotley. Will you be looking him up on your nautical database? Good show. I would invite you to drop anchor here but things are now spinning out of control what with Brian's team, the Wimon Wiesantal mob, various impersonators and the drug shortage. You've probably seen it on the news. I may have to leave at short notice. leading seaman robmcj

2:04 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

Alison Main. Or should I call you Liaison Man? You are a penanagram of Wilson Mania. Suspicious.

I liked Grandaddy, but I find the mars volta is more suited to the ambient menace since Brian and Simon's arrival on the islands. I know they're here but I can't see them.

The offer of medication still stands, though there may be none left by the time you get here, the doctors at MIMI have requisitioned all supplies on the island for use in subdueing Brian. robmcj

2:26 AM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

Shotley, eh? Spent many a pleasant evening in the 'Wreck.

They serve a darn good Mulanje Mule there - its important not to overdo the Angostura Bitter.

I still can't place Jock, though. He didn't spend any time off Mombasa in the late sixties, did he?


9:29 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

MM III, I presume we are talking about the Crown and Crossed Swords. The last beer I had in Shotley was in 1954. Jock's posting before that was in India not Mombasa, before my time.

Google says - "Your search - Mulanje Mule - did not match any documents". Can you oblige with the recipe? robmcj.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

Mulanje Mule - essentially a rock shandy, fortified with whatever's at hand in the hip flask (usually brandy).

Sad news about Nobby. Fine fellow, I believe.


8:30 PM  
Blogger richard barnes said...

I am planning an expedition to lake tanganyika to see where the naval battles took place. My cousin wrote the book about MIMI and Toutou. I am trying to find out much more about Spicer Simpson and I see he was a distant relative of yours. Also apparently he gave lectures in 1919 about the expedition and had a slide show. What happened to the slides and his medals ? any info is welcome. TOU TOU was taken back to CAPE TOWN and used as pleasure boat around the harbout till the late 1930,s. Help !

12:08 PM  

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