Ra Sit Vac!
Saturday 7:40 p.m.
So I've done about ten thousand hours of meditating (at least!) over the past ten years. Well, that was the second decade I've been at this malarkey and during the first decade I didn't do anything like that much. But I did get non-self and emptiness for ten seconds after about a decade of meditating. Well, there's nothing special about me, Jack. If I can do it, so can you.
Ten seconds of non-self and emptiness is the same as seeing the pantheistic god. Or the god immanent in the universe. So I think we should run a programme in the Amazing Bloggy Church of the BadBoy Blissheid to get flatheids to see God.
All prospective partners in this venture must realise that in about two years time, if the bugger actually get published, it will be an international bestseller of mega proportions. This is because no one has ever written a novel anything like it, certainly no one who knows anything about ra bliss.
You'll be allowed to join the ABCBBB if you refuse to believe in anything, or any things, and are willing to hand over ten percent off the top. Plus, join the ten step programme to meet God.
You have to eventually complete ten thousand hours of meditation, but it comes in thousand hour bite size chunks. To go onto the next section you have to hand over £200 and for that you get the next bit of method and wisdom. The method is always a mantra and the wisdom is always emptiness. You get the first mantra and the first bit of wisdom for free. The mantra to be used for the first thousand hours will be MUMBO JUMBO. When you're not actually meditating and are maybe just walking along the road, you have to do a bit of the wisdom sometimes. For that you occasionally repeat: "It's just a load of old photons!"
The Hut Manager, whoever it is, might need some help here, I think. He'll have enough to do what with all the screwdriver stuff and keeping Adolf's mum trotting around the eco friendly hamster wheel, the sole source of power. Yes, I think the handing out of method and wisdom stuff requires a clerical assistant!
Of course, as soon as the book looks like being a mega seller, I'm off in the rowing boat, heading for the Unheard of and McDonald Islands to find a nice cave where I can practise deity yoga to my heart's content. But that won't matter. We can stick a dummy in the hut and put the hat, wig, etc on it. As long as everyone remembers that this is a profit share operation. I take fifty percent off the top and the flatheids can fight over the rest. I think that's fair. Only those genuinely interested need apply!
Sunday 3 p.m.
When they complain, after spending all the money and doing all the meditations, that they did not see God, even the pantheistic kind of God, well, we'll have to tell them that this is because they have been possessed by 108 alien creatures from Outer Space, who now live in their spinal columns, and this means they have to go back to the beginning. Thank god for the alien creatures from Outer Space! I know you're out there!
So I've done about ten thousand hours of meditating (at least!) over the past ten years. Well, that was the second decade I've been at this malarkey and during the first decade I didn't do anything like that much. But I did get non-self and emptiness for ten seconds after about a decade of meditating. Well, there's nothing special about me, Jack. If I can do it, so can you.
Ten seconds of non-self and emptiness is the same as seeing the pantheistic god. Or the god immanent in the universe. So I think we should run a programme in the Amazing Bloggy Church of the BadBoy Blissheid to get flatheids to see God.
All prospective partners in this venture must realise that in about two years time, if the bugger actually get published, it will be an international bestseller of mega proportions. This is because no one has ever written a novel anything like it, certainly no one who knows anything about ra bliss.
You'll be allowed to join the ABCBBB if you refuse to believe in anything, or any things, and are willing to hand over ten percent off the top. Plus, join the ten step programme to meet God.
You have to eventually complete ten thousand hours of meditation, but it comes in thousand hour bite size chunks. To go onto the next section you have to hand over £200 and for that you get the next bit of method and wisdom. The method is always a mantra and the wisdom is always emptiness. You get the first mantra and the first bit of wisdom for free. The mantra to be used for the first thousand hours will be MUMBO JUMBO. When you're not actually meditating and are maybe just walking along the road, you have to do a bit of the wisdom sometimes. For that you occasionally repeat: "It's just a load of old photons!"
The Hut Manager, whoever it is, might need some help here, I think. He'll have enough to do what with all the screwdriver stuff and keeping Adolf's mum trotting around the eco friendly hamster wheel, the sole source of power. Yes, I think the handing out of method and wisdom stuff requires a clerical assistant!
Of course, as soon as the book looks like being a mega seller, I'm off in the rowing boat, heading for the Unheard of and McDonald Islands to find a nice cave where I can practise deity yoga to my heart's content. But that won't matter. We can stick a dummy in the hut and put the hat, wig, etc on it. As long as everyone remembers that this is a profit share operation. I take fifty percent off the top and the flatheids can fight over the rest. I think that's fair. Only those genuinely interested need apply!
Sunday 3 p.m.
When they complain, after spending all the money and doing all the meditations, that they did not see God, even the pantheistic kind of God, well, we'll have to tell them that this is because they have been possessed by 108 alien creatures from Outer Space, who now live in their spinal columns, and this means they have to go back to the beginning. Thank god for the alien creatures from Outer Space! I know you're out there!
posted by Hotboy at 7:41 PM
6 Comments:
The dummy would be unethical. We can set up a webcam in the cave here, and link it in to your site. We have wig and beard technology here too you know.
Has the assistant to the assistant started yet?
Have you considered Her Catness for the assistant assistant position? She's youthful, fluffy outside but hard as nails on the inside.
Ion: If you're cooking the books and it doesn't interfere with my percentage, I don't care who you put on the payroll! The more the merrier! Hotboy
I really would like to have a picture of you rowing away in your boat! ;)
Now you're into the third decade of your sitting vacation, could you try and get the Pet Bereavement site on-line before my doggy carks it from ringworm? That might help. PS - what's the staff discount rate?
I have several nice, young girl relatives, but if I can't have them, why should you? No offence.
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