Rem Baddies Again!
Sunday 7 p.m.
I had a very nice time in the allotment today and returned with a big cabbage, some broccoli, apples, and feasted while there on lots of raspberries. I'd just been wondering about spending the night there some time this week when this old boy asked me if I'd been broken into last Tuesday. Nope. Seems like quite a few huts were broken into, but the baddies only took .... knives. Hmmm?
How am I supposed to spend a night in the hut doing the juju when marauders might appear at any moment looking for knives? Well, have you ever seen a gin trap? My big brother had one in the house for a while. They should be illegal. They probably are. You've got a circle of steel teeth and a pad you stand on. Then the steel teeth are released and snap onto your limb. It's really a take a limb device. If you had one after the door, when the first baddie came in and started the screaming, you could push him out and emerge with the digging fork in one hand and the open shears swinging from the other, shouting: Allotmenteers, ya bass!
They only stole knives? Surely, these must have been young droogies getting tooled up for a bit of the old ultraviolence round about the tower blockos. What's the world coming to when the substratum can't even afford to buy their own chibs?
My nose is still running a wee bit, but the swamp fever is gone! Yes, it is! So I skipped for five minutes and did six two minute rounds of shadow boxing in the complete Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle. You might not have seen this kind of shadow boxing before. You don't just stand there shaped up and just punching. You're jumping about all over the shop and it's as aerobic as you want it to be. Before the swamp, I'd up the routine to six threes, but tonight I was back to six twos so I could do some hatha yoga tonight between meditations. But I love doing physical jerks. It's so reassuring somehow. It gets you high as well, sort of. I'm the only joe or josephine I know who does anything like this, but even before I could do ra bliss, I wasn't really normal!
It's a public holiday tomorrow. I managed to take some of the pressure off the
home brew barrel last night, but it may still need some attention later on!
23:11 p.m.
Basturns! The world changed when they said that Salman Rushdie should die because he wrote a book. I remember being amazed. And some people did die. Not Salman, but some translators, etc. So on the day that the Nazi Papa said he didn't really mean it, there are these joes (and it's always joes because the women aren't allowed out!) saying they think it's okay if some people kill the pope because he has disrespected the Prophet. They're standing outside a catholic church in London, doing this shite with their faces covered up!
(Monday 12: 51 p.m. Unusually, I've edited out three paragraphs of inconsequential drunken ravings from this post!)
This stuff, the after the beer stuff, was really just for Eric. Because he asked for it and they might try to disrupt his life ... and it would be alright, and it wouldn't be like this, Eric. You'd come back!
I wish I could have written even one line of this. It was in the paper today.
"When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
An' go to your Gawd as a soldier. "
The janny was in special services for a long while. His best pal got shot in the head and died in his arms. His last word, before he turned away, was: Tough!
Fung sake! Jihad, ya bass! What exactly are these dimwits talking about? You should teach yourself to meditate, Eric.
I had a very nice time in the allotment today and returned with a big cabbage, some broccoli, apples, and feasted while there on lots of raspberries. I'd just been wondering about spending the night there some time this week when this old boy asked me if I'd been broken into last Tuesday. Nope. Seems like quite a few huts were broken into, but the baddies only took .... knives. Hmmm?
How am I supposed to spend a night in the hut doing the juju when marauders might appear at any moment looking for knives? Well, have you ever seen a gin trap? My big brother had one in the house for a while. They should be illegal. They probably are. You've got a circle of steel teeth and a pad you stand on. Then the steel teeth are released and snap onto your limb. It's really a take a limb device. If you had one after the door, when the first baddie came in and started the screaming, you could push him out and emerge with the digging fork in one hand and the open shears swinging from the other, shouting: Allotmenteers, ya bass!
They only stole knives? Surely, these must have been young droogies getting tooled up for a bit of the old ultraviolence round about the tower blockos. What's the world coming to when the substratum can't even afford to buy their own chibs?
My nose is still running a wee bit, but the swamp fever is gone! Yes, it is! So I skipped for five minutes and did six two minute rounds of shadow boxing in the complete Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle. You might not have seen this kind of shadow boxing before. You don't just stand there shaped up and just punching. You're jumping about all over the shop and it's as aerobic as you want it to be. Before the swamp, I'd up the routine to six threes, but tonight I was back to six twos so I could do some hatha yoga tonight between meditations. But I love doing physical jerks. It's so reassuring somehow. It gets you high as well, sort of. I'm the only joe or josephine I know who does anything like this, but even before I could do ra bliss, I wasn't really normal!
It's a public holiday tomorrow. I managed to take some of the pressure off the
home brew barrel last night, but it may still need some attention later on!
23:11 p.m.
Basturns! The world changed when they said that Salman Rushdie should die because he wrote a book. I remember being amazed. And some people did die. Not Salman, but some translators, etc. So on the day that the Nazi Papa said he didn't really mean it, there are these joes (and it's always joes because the women aren't allowed out!) saying they think it's okay if some people kill the pope because he has disrespected the Prophet. They're standing outside a catholic church in London, doing this shite with their faces covered up!
(Monday 12: 51 p.m. Unusually, I've edited out three paragraphs of inconsequential drunken ravings from this post!)
This stuff, the after the beer stuff, was really just for Eric. Because he asked for it and they might try to disrupt his life ... and it would be alright, and it wouldn't be like this, Eric. You'd come back!
I wish I could have written even one line of this. It was in the paper today.
"When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
An' go to your Gawd as a soldier. "
The janny was in special services for a long while. His best pal got shot in the head and died in his arms. His last word, before he turned away, was: Tough!
Fung sake! Jihad, ya bass! What exactly are these dimwits talking about? You should teach yourself to meditate, Eric.
posted by Hotboy at 7:06 PM
4 Comments:
I say!
With respect to 'gin traps' - dear Pawpaw used to set a variation on the theme in an attempt to catch the Mau Mau. Never got a single one, though the hens that escaped seemed fatally attracted to them, and we consequently enjoyed several nice roasts.
I say HotBoy - I believe that you need editing: "...had a very nice time in the allotment today and returned with a big cabbage, some broccoli, apples, and feasted while there on lots of raspberries." should surely read "I had a very nice time in the allotment today, and returned with a big cabbage, some broccoli and apples, and feasted, whilst there, on lots of raspberries."
In today's environment, it is important not to underestimate the importance of dots and commas.
I'm sure this helps a lot.
MM III
Mingin'! This is totally correct. Perchance I did not spot any of that, but as I fall into old age and my brain unfolds I cannot remember spelling or any of that stuff! Hotboy
The Gin trap sounds like a Bear trap.
I hope you don't get any of those bad boys breaking into your hut.
Sorry you are still feeling a little under the weather. Hope it clears up soon.
Hope your week is wonderful Hotboy!
Lee Ann: Thanks! Fighting fit this morning and ready to go back to work tomorrow. Oh no! Hotboy
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