Ra Fourth Day!
Spent all morning and up till now on the wee island in the middle of the river. I'm settled now.
I was thinking about contentment and not wanting anything. That's how you must be surely if you're doing a long solo retreat. Contented, not wanting anything. You can just sit. Equanimity is probably what you're looking for ... and then some fun with ra bliss!
Being on the wee island was so good. I was overcast and cloudy with a few wee sunny spells, but not raining. Being contented is very good. My mother seems to have developed this over the last few years. Being contented at 86 years old. Got to be the name of the game.
Just a wee bit before lunch, I thought I should go and try to find somewhere to do a Tai Chi set, but I realised this place would be too busy on a Sunday. I don't like showing off, or being in public with some things. No one around, so I stood on my head. On a towel. On the pebbles. Sat down to check out if it had made any difference. Here comes ra bliss! Tons of it. Started a going for it with the vase breathing. That's only the second time really since I came here. Hit the zone of superior and most wonderful bliss with some heat. I'd forgotten about the zone! So into the calming and contentment. I expect I might be in the zone quite a bit this evening. Somehow I don't care. I'm not chasing it somehow even though it's so special. Ra bliss isn't really addictive. It's not like other things.
Went to lunch and Dr Akong was there in the cafeteria place with his family. His wee brother smiles a lot more. His wee brother isn't married! You don't know who could be walking around this place. Some folk are more than they seem.
After lunch, I went back to the wee island and lay down on the pebbles again. Deeper sleep this time. Turned on my side after maybe half an hour and fell asleep for another half hour. Delicious sleep. Weird insights about different kinds of consciousness as well. Why am I sleeping in a tent? Because it usually rains here! Be nice to sleep on the wee island with a mat and a sleeping bag.
Then I sat up and into a lot of bliss immediately. Did some vase breathing and tried for the deity yoga. This with eyes open. Most of the day with eyes open. Ra bliss is not half so strong like that... at the moment anyway. Wonder why? Wonder why they don't just keep their eyes shut.
Thoughts should flow easily from one to the other in a nice sequence, I think. Intrusive thoughts are when you lose the place and suddenly you're thinking about some useless crap. Here comes the work thoughts! No rhyme or reason. But heavy thoughts of ultra anger and seething resentment. Rising up on people. I try to be nice, but there's a killer in there yet.
I ask myself for an explanation. Why these thoughts? From whence to they arise? I remembered that the juju people think you can have thoughts because of stuff happening in your body... well, the meridian/nadi bit of your body. Anyway, there's all kinds of shit down there and I suppose it's got to come out somehow. Once I had a few days here of ra bliss interspersed with ra horrorshow. I want crap out of my mindstream. Also, I would like to give up work. Who wouldn't? Actually, a lot of people.
If I can feel happy staring into a river all day after three days here, how happy could I be if I was sitting in a cave on McDonald Island? How long would it take to sort out the horrorshow intrusions. Probably resigning, plus five minutes! I don't even have to go to work for weeks!
The chinese stole a kid from Tibet. The Panchen Lama maybe. I can see his wee face in my guru meditations sometimes. Don't think he's been seen for years. I was thinking if I could get Light in the Dark published, I should ask someone if I could dedicate the book to him. Nobody's read this book except me and Michi. What do you think Michi? Have to go. Out of time!
9:10p.m.
The guy on the counter has assured me this cafe will be shut tomorrow night! There's only ten folk staying over tomorrow. It'll be quiet.
I was in the back temple this morning from nine till just before ten. There was a course on there. Someone came in and I asked about the course. Introduction to Meditation. I asked her who was leading it. She wasn't sure, but recognised Teresa's name. You're lucky, I said. She didn't know why. God, how I wished some of my connections wanted to come down here to spend a weekend listening to someone like that telling them about meditation!
I had a very good meditation before the six o clock meal. Usually, it's soup. I feel good with soup. Anyway, good hour that. I worked out what I'm supposed to be doing here. Maybe you're getting a wee help from who knows where. Who knows? Anyway, if you're getting the odd angry intrusive thought about whatever, you might have to have a look at emptiness and compassion.
Compassion and altruism is the basis of the path. So I started on the Jesus Christ from the Turin Shroud photie. I've blogged about this before. You make up your own Jesus Christ. Whether it's real or not isn't a sensible question. Can you use it and get something out of it? That's a sensible question. The crucifixtion is the western symbol of compassion and altruism. Or you can make it like that. Even if Jesus Christ was just some joe they tortured and crucified, doesn't matter. Jesus Christ who suffered and died for me is my guru. Please give me your wisdom mind.
You should be able to put the horrorshow images into an emptiness analysis and kind of deconstruct them. If you want to hang onto them at all. With thoughts I think you can let them go, cut them off, or transform them.
I'm trying to meditate mostly with my eyes open, but I know there's a better view of ra bliss with them closed. So if it's getting hard or I'm losing it a bit I close them for a bit.
I was going to do some vase breathing stuff in the temple tonight, but the Chenrezig puja lasted for an hour and a half. I put the joss sticks on in my tent and came here.
I spent almost all of three days in that tent once on the Holy Isle, but I've hardly ever meditated in there while here. Usually, it's pouring. Then the midgies. Tonight I might try sitting up for a bit, but I'd like to read more of Govinda. I'm going to re-read all his stuff again. I'll get more out of it this time.
In one of them he talks about raising inner heat. I think he says the yogi joe concentrates on the navel chakra till it gets hot then moves it up his body. When I read the 6 yogas stuff, I wondered about that. But tonight, during the Chenrezig stuff, that seemed to be happening. I was getting warm just sitting there. When the gong bashing started, I did a couple of breaths. It seems to be there, so maybe I shouldn't concentrate on it just now. Maybe I'm getting in front of myself.
Tomorrow, I'll do the navel symbol predominately, I think. Do the preliminaries (this might take the first couple of hours!) and then sit in ra bliss with the symbol. Get calm enough so that I can do the emptiness stuff on any thoughts arising. Way to go.
Great day today. One blip. Three more to go!
I was thinking about contentment and not wanting anything. That's how you must be surely if you're doing a long solo retreat. Contented, not wanting anything. You can just sit. Equanimity is probably what you're looking for ... and then some fun with ra bliss!
Being on the wee island was so good. I was overcast and cloudy with a few wee sunny spells, but not raining. Being contented is very good. My mother seems to have developed this over the last few years. Being contented at 86 years old. Got to be the name of the game.
Just a wee bit before lunch, I thought I should go and try to find somewhere to do a Tai Chi set, but I realised this place would be too busy on a Sunday. I don't like showing off, or being in public with some things. No one around, so I stood on my head. On a towel. On the pebbles. Sat down to check out if it had made any difference. Here comes ra bliss! Tons of it. Started a going for it with the vase breathing. That's only the second time really since I came here. Hit the zone of superior and most wonderful bliss with some heat. I'd forgotten about the zone! So into the calming and contentment. I expect I might be in the zone quite a bit this evening. Somehow I don't care. I'm not chasing it somehow even though it's so special. Ra bliss isn't really addictive. It's not like other things.
Went to lunch and Dr Akong was there in the cafeteria place with his family. His wee brother smiles a lot more. His wee brother isn't married! You don't know who could be walking around this place. Some folk are more than they seem.
After lunch, I went back to the wee island and lay down on the pebbles again. Deeper sleep this time. Turned on my side after maybe half an hour and fell asleep for another half hour. Delicious sleep. Weird insights about different kinds of consciousness as well. Why am I sleeping in a tent? Because it usually rains here! Be nice to sleep on the wee island with a mat and a sleeping bag.
Then I sat up and into a lot of bliss immediately. Did some vase breathing and tried for the deity yoga. This with eyes open. Most of the day with eyes open. Ra bliss is not half so strong like that... at the moment anyway. Wonder why? Wonder why they don't just keep their eyes shut.
Thoughts should flow easily from one to the other in a nice sequence, I think. Intrusive thoughts are when you lose the place and suddenly you're thinking about some useless crap. Here comes the work thoughts! No rhyme or reason. But heavy thoughts of ultra anger and seething resentment. Rising up on people. I try to be nice, but there's a killer in there yet.
I ask myself for an explanation. Why these thoughts? From whence to they arise? I remembered that the juju people think you can have thoughts because of stuff happening in your body... well, the meridian/nadi bit of your body. Anyway, there's all kinds of shit down there and I suppose it's got to come out somehow. Once I had a few days here of ra bliss interspersed with ra horrorshow. I want crap out of my mindstream. Also, I would like to give up work. Who wouldn't? Actually, a lot of people.
If I can feel happy staring into a river all day after three days here, how happy could I be if I was sitting in a cave on McDonald Island? How long would it take to sort out the horrorshow intrusions. Probably resigning, plus five minutes! I don't even have to go to work for weeks!
The chinese stole a kid from Tibet. The Panchen Lama maybe. I can see his wee face in my guru meditations sometimes. Don't think he's been seen for years. I was thinking if I could get Light in the Dark published, I should ask someone if I could dedicate the book to him. Nobody's read this book except me and Michi. What do you think Michi? Have to go. Out of time!
9:10p.m.
The guy on the counter has assured me this cafe will be shut tomorrow night! There's only ten folk staying over tomorrow. It'll be quiet.
I was in the back temple this morning from nine till just before ten. There was a course on there. Someone came in and I asked about the course. Introduction to Meditation. I asked her who was leading it. She wasn't sure, but recognised Teresa's name. You're lucky, I said. She didn't know why. God, how I wished some of my connections wanted to come down here to spend a weekend listening to someone like that telling them about meditation!
I had a very good meditation before the six o clock meal. Usually, it's soup. I feel good with soup. Anyway, good hour that. I worked out what I'm supposed to be doing here. Maybe you're getting a wee help from who knows where. Who knows? Anyway, if you're getting the odd angry intrusive thought about whatever, you might have to have a look at emptiness and compassion.
Compassion and altruism is the basis of the path. So I started on the Jesus Christ from the Turin Shroud photie. I've blogged about this before. You make up your own Jesus Christ. Whether it's real or not isn't a sensible question. Can you use it and get something out of it? That's a sensible question. The crucifixtion is the western symbol of compassion and altruism. Or you can make it like that. Even if Jesus Christ was just some joe they tortured and crucified, doesn't matter. Jesus Christ who suffered and died for me is my guru. Please give me your wisdom mind.
You should be able to put the horrorshow images into an emptiness analysis and kind of deconstruct them. If you want to hang onto them at all. With thoughts I think you can let them go, cut them off, or transform them.
I'm trying to meditate mostly with my eyes open, but I know there's a better view of ra bliss with them closed. So if it's getting hard or I'm losing it a bit I close them for a bit.
I was going to do some vase breathing stuff in the temple tonight, but the Chenrezig puja lasted for an hour and a half. I put the joss sticks on in my tent and came here.
I spent almost all of three days in that tent once on the Holy Isle, but I've hardly ever meditated in there while here. Usually, it's pouring. Then the midgies. Tonight I might try sitting up for a bit, but I'd like to read more of Govinda. I'm going to re-read all his stuff again. I'll get more out of it this time.
In one of them he talks about raising inner heat. I think he says the yogi joe concentrates on the navel chakra till it gets hot then moves it up his body. When I read the 6 yogas stuff, I wondered about that. But tonight, during the Chenrezig stuff, that seemed to be happening. I was getting warm just sitting there. When the gong bashing started, I did a couple of breaths. It seems to be there, so maybe I shouldn't concentrate on it just now. Maybe I'm getting in front of myself.
Tomorrow, I'll do the navel symbol predominately, I think. Do the preliminaries (this might take the first couple of hours!) and then sit in ra bliss with the symbol. Get calm enough so that I can do the emptiness stuff on any thoughts arising. Way to go.
Great day today. One blip. Three more to go!
posted by Hotboy at 4:16 PM
3 Comments:
What is Vase breathing?
Otherwise...sounds like a marvy retreat so far...
~H
hotboy. Re: "Being contented is very good. My mother seems to have developed this".
Can she teach my mother please?
religious persecution
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