Rat Saturday
One o clock p.m.
Done very little besides meditate today so far. Tried to encourage myself by thinking about the amount of progress I've made recently with this juju. Just over a year ago I had some time off my work (ten weeks!) and spent most of it in my allotment, meditating for most of the day. During this time I managed to connect breathing and bliss. I cannot connect them all the time, but a connection was evident then. That means that after the outbreath, there is a rising of ra bliss, or an expansion thereof.
This morning there is far, far deeper experiences of ra bliss and when I do any vase breathing, and somehow I don't do it that often, heat seems to be there. There has been a vast development in this regard. Last night, I was very blissed and warm. But it is a different kind, or kinds, of bliss. There is a different mental zone being entered. It is much easier to pretend to be a deity in this zone.
It is not even a year since I took my first formal empowerment.
I need encouragement today because I am still a bit pissed off about hitting the beer on Thursday. I do not feel my relationship with anything else other than the juju is much good just now. Nobody else is on this trip. Would I rather be them? What an amusing idea!
Michi Regier has a guide to Aikido on her webpage. I read this last night and found it fascinating.
There's a place in Colorado you can go to where some Japanese guy will hit you with sticks, let you stay in a room, and work in his restaurant. Brian Wilson is far too old to live there, but getting hit with big sticks would do him the world of good. I'd run away if he took his false teeth out beforehand.
Mood is tricky to control. Concentration lapses and sometimes it is hard not to do all the things that brought you pleasure sometimes before. But when you get knocked down, you can usually get up again. You have to keep making an effort. You don't want to be a flatheid. You really don't.
Done very little besides meditate today so far. Tried to encourage myself by thinking about the amount of progress I've made recently with this juju. Just over a year ago I had some time off my work (ten weeks!) and spent most of it in my allotment, meditating for most of the day. During this time I managed to connect breathing and bliss. I cannot connect them all the time, but a connection was evident then. That means that after the outbreath, there is a rising of ra bliss, or an expansion thereof.
This morning there is far, far deeper experiences of ra bliss and when I do any vase breathing, and somehow I don't do it that often, heat seems to be there. There has been a vast development in this regard. Last night, I was very blissed and warm. But it is a different kind, or kinds, of bliss. There is a different mental zone being entered. It is much easier to pretend to be a deity in this zone.
It is not even a year since I took my first formal empowerment.
I need encouragement today because I am still a bit pissed off about hitting the beer on Thursday. I do not feel my relationship with anything else other than the juju is much good just now. Nobody else is on this trip. Would I rather be them? What an amusing idea!
Michi Regier has a guide to Aikido on her webpage. I read this last night and found it fascinating.
There's a place in Colorado you can go to where some Japanese guy will hit you with sticks, let you stay in a room, and work in his restaurant. Brian Wilson is far too old to live there, but getting hit with big sticks would do him the world of good. I'd run away if he took his false teeth out beforehand.
Mood is tricky to control. Concentration lapses and sometimes it is hard not to do all the things that brought you pleasure sometimes before. But when you get knocked down, you can usually get up again. You have to keep making an effort. You don't want to be a flatheid. You really don't.
posted by Hotboy at 12:53 PM
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