Friday, October 27, 2006

Ra Two Ton Tony!

Thursday 11:56 p.m.
What a good day I've had today! Simple, great day! If I can ever give up my job, I'll have so many wonderful days like this!

Food: Soup, bread, cheese, raw onions, Marmite, butter, wee plate of veggies from the Domestic Bliss's dinner, two dates.

Exercise: Two tai-chi sets, two headstands, one hour on nazi bike along the North Edinburgh cyclepaths, then ten minutes skipping followed by six three minute rounds with half minute intermissions for dancing about with the arms down.

The shadow boxing was done in the kitchen as usual. The music was by the Velvet Underground and started with four repetitions of Waiting for the Man, then Beginning to See the Light a few times, then a couple of Sweet Janes. By then I should have finished, but I was enjoying myself so much that I kept jumping about to White Light/ White Heat.

Before donning the Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle, I weighed in. I'm five foot ten. I weighed in at twelve and a half stone. Fung fat bastarn! Like Two Ton Tony, I've been training on beer.

Ah never hoid of da bum. Ah'd moider da bum whoever he was.

How the boys in the camel coats, the fedoras, with the big ruby rings on their fingers must have roared to their feet when he knocked the bum down in the third!

Fancy knocking down Joe Louis! Simon Barnes, who's a chief sports writer in the Observer, I think, said boxing should be banned because the sole reason to punch someone in the head is to damage their brain.

You might as well say the sole reason for throwing darts is to damage the dartboard.

Fancy knocking down Joe Louis in the third! Anyway, I had to hold the bum up for another three rounds so I could finish my training session.

After the training session I had a pint of water before my shower and then weighed in again. About twelve stone one pound. That's a loss of six or seven pounds in sweat. A gallon of water weighs about 10 pounds.

Meditated for six or seven hours today. What a great day it has been!

9 Comments:

Blogger robmcj said...

I should be a fat bastard. I exercise much less than you. Still, your heart/circulation must be good for a few decades.

My only exercise this week was when I took 2 hours off work yesterday to power-walk to the deli that sells the imported British cheese. Then I ate half a pound of Red Leicester back at work, about 1000 calories back on.

In your previous post, wasn't Rumtek the drug testing place where you were a lab rat in the 70s? Even if thay are testing slimming pills, don't go back to that.

Eureka! Why RaBlissBook hasn't found a publisher: all the people who would like to read it are like you, effed if they're going to bother wasting bliss time on reading a book. I told you it would have helped if we had done a feasibility study first. You could have been the next Rowling (with 10% off the top to me). Like Harry Potter but with Buddhist mysticism instead of wizardry. But, Oh No! You thought you knew better. Try working on the phemonenal ego loss.

6:21 AM  
Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! I've already written the JK Rowling book with the buddhist mysticism instead of the wizardry. It's on my webpage called Light in the Dark. If you'd have stopped goosestepping about the Unheard ofs long enough to read it, you could have sold it to lots of penguins and cleaned up. But nobody listens to me. Also, it was Portadown, not Rumtek. And it wasn't me, and the boy grew two heads! Hope this helps! Hotboy

10:25 AM  
Blogger ion said...

I've been speculating about just what the Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle comprises. One of my theories is that it is a stationary exercise bike, but since you seem to 'don' it, the latest image is of one of those 19th century bathyspheric diving suits with a grill on the helmet.

11:57 AM  
Blogger hotboy said...

Ion: The Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle - Power it Yourself! will be available in all good sports outlets soon. It comprised last night a woolly hat, three teeshirts (soiled of course!), then a woolly jumper under a bin bag liner with a sweat shirt on top. Accessories comprise Mummyesque bandages on the hands with 24 year old boxing mitts (for weight and to help you get into character!). Hope that's cleared that one up! Hotboy

6:36 PM  
Blogger ion said...

And you wonder why you might have a fungal skin infection without the exacerbation of perimenopause?

I shall look forward to purchasing BMRV in my local branch of JBSports.

I hope your neighbours don't complain about Velvet Underground and furniture movement, as Gareth downstairs has. He's sensitive, and hates it since I sanded my floors and lifted carpets. The neighbours on the other side are gay, friendly and resilient, and have organised stair upgrades without complaint. Oh, the pleasures of good neighbours.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

Have a wonderful weekend!
~xo

6:59 PM  
Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Titus "Telephone Beats" Masanjika - now, there was a boxer! I believe he might have taken Galento, even in his prime. Such a pity that he lost an eye.

MM III

8:59 PM  
Blogger hotboy said...

Ion: Unfortunately, I can't the music in the kitchen loud enough to annoy anyone. Hope you aren't tap dancing in your wellies on the sanded floors!
Lee Ann: Hope you're feeling better!
Mingin': I hope they didn't stop the fight just because he lost his eye! A bit of eye gouging never didn anybody any harm! Hotboy

10:12 PM  
Blogger robmcj said...

ion - to a misanthropologist like myself, "good neighbours" is an oxymoron.

2:48 AM  

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