Ra Accident!
Friday 11:20 p.m.
So I'm walking out of Haymarket Station after an okay visit to Bellshill, as you do on a Friday evening about quarter to five. There's a bottleneck that you might watch, where the even worse off sit, before you have to cross the road. Sometimes you might check the traffic and jackrabbit across the road if the circumstances look favourable.
But you're going to soldier on passed the bus stop. Would you like to go for a pint in Ryrie's Bar? No! Why did that come up? Thank God it's not as wet as I was expecting. Why did I fall asleep on the train? I was meditating late on last night.
So I'm scanning about as I approach the bottleneck where at least one begging person might be esconsed and I see this old lady try to cross the road. It's on the left and back a bit. Everybody just wants to get home. She's wearing a blue coat and has a blue hat on her head. And the stick.
Then it's all in slo-mo. The old lady walks out and the road is greasy and the car tries to stop, and she gets hit by the car, which is screeching to a slow halt, and the old lady folds onto the top of the motor. Then it halts and she gets slid off the bonnet, like a piece of cake, and lands an interestingly long distance away. Then, everything stops. Count the seconds. One, two, three, four ... and everything starts again.
I think: I've never seen anything like this before. What am I supposed to do? So I realised that nothing had happened and everything had stopped, so I walked towards the accident, maybe the third person to do this.
The first joe is crouching by the woman by the time I got there, and then it's not looking so cold and the start of Catch 22, the movie. Then the woman comes out of the car. Completely freaked. Oh my god! Then a bit worse than that. She's the usual woman. She's got two kids and lives in Penicuik. She's just got off work.
Some joes might have put their arms round the woman, but I didn't do that. Made pacifying noises. Then turned to the old lady.
The guy, who is semi-kneeling ... can you do this, Jack? The semi-kneeling with no knees touching the ground, says to the woman: I am a doctor. He's got a professional middle class accent and a pin stripe suit. And a brief case. He's like the guy out of American Psycho. He's the boy from Terminator 2. Perfect. He's asking the woman about her arms and legs, etc.
The underclass dress me. What can I offer here? I'm standing there watching the world spin round and wondering what is the point of wanting to help if you can't do anything. You cannot hug the driver. Some woman appears and hugs the driver. The doctor is going to move the woman. Some other woman says should you do that? I ask if I can be of any assistance? The doctor says to the woman: I am a doctor. Like, he's the boy you're supposed to wait for if you're lucky. And he's there. And he's impeccably dressed. Also, been in Terminator 2 and American Psycho.
So I went to the front, thinking I might be of some use, and had a good look at the old woman as she was being encouraged to sit up. Walt Disney drew the old woman. So I slinked off. Completely bloody useless. Also, I am too old to decide to become a doctor like the responsible joe who took over the woman's case, and was a wonderful emanation forsooth, and so I shall just try to connct with appearances in a different way.
Today, I heard another CD of the dharmapada at my auld maw's. How odd. The buddha was talking a lot about taking off for the woods, and bugger everything else. I would like to be able to do that, but I can't.
St Antony heard something in church. I think he thought: shit is that what you have to do? And then he went and did it. Cue the forty years in a cave mood music!
You're not going to do that, are you, Hotboy? No, Jack! I couldn't do that! What if I had a toothache?
The Nullabor Plain is where I'd like to be! It's Australia! The best place in this world is Australia. I'd like to be a proper person and go to Australia and sit there and await doom. They don't, some of them, worry about their dentists in Australia!
So I'm walking out of Haymarket Station after an okay visit to Bellshill, as you do on a Friday evening about quarter to five. There's a bottleneck that you might watch, where the even worse off sit, before you have to cross the road. Sometimes you might check the traffic and jackrabbit across the road if the circumstances look favourable.
But you're going to soldier on passed the bus stop. Would you like to go for a pint in Ryrie's Bar? No! Why did that come up? Thank God it's not as wet as I was expecting. Why did I fall asleep on the train? I was meditating late on last night.
So I'm scanning about as I approach the bottleneck where at least one begging person might be esconsed and I see this old lady try to cross the road. It's on the left and back a bit. Everybody just wants to get home. She's wearing a blue coat and has a blue hat on her head. And the stick.
Then it's all in slo-mo. The old lady walks out and the road is greasy and the car tries to stop, and she gets hit by the car, which is screeching to a slow halt, and the old lady folds onto the top of the motor. Then it halts and she gets slid off the bonnet, like a piece of cake, and lands an interestingly long distance away. Then, everything stops. Count the seconds. One, two, three, four ... and everything starts again.
I think: I've never seen anything like this before. What am I supposed to do? So I realised that nothing had happened and everything had stopped, so I walked towards the accident, maybe the third person to do this.
The first joe is crouching by the woman by the time I got there, and then it's not looking so cold and the start of Catch 22, the movie. Then the woman comes out of the car. Completely freaked. Oh my god! Then a bit worse than that. She's the usual woman. She's got two kids and lives in Penicuik. She's just got off work.
Some joes might have put their arms round the woman, but I didn't do that. Made pacifying noises. Then turned to the old lady.
The guy, who is semi-kneeling ... can you do this, Jack? The semi-kneeling with no knees touching the ground, says to the woman: I am a doctor. He's got a professional middle class accent and a pin stripe suit. And a brief case. He's like the guy out of American Psycho. He's the boy from Terminator 2. Perfect. He's asking the woman about her arms and legs, etc.
The underclass dress me. What can I offer here? I'm standing there watching the world spin round and wondering what is the point of wanting to help if you can't do anything. You cannot hug the driver. Some woman appears and hugs the driver. The doctor is going to move the woman. Some other woman says should you do that? I ask if I can be of any assistance? The doctor says to the woman: I am a doctor. Like, he's the boy you're supposed to wait for if you're lucky. And he's there. And he's impeccably dressed. Also, been in Terminator 2 and American Psycho.
So I went to the front, thinking I might be of some use, and had a good look at the old woman as she was being encouraged to sit up. Walt Disney drew the old woman. So I slinked off. Completely bloody useless. Also, I am too old to decide to become a doctor like the responsible joe who took over the woman's case, and was a wonderful emanation forsooth, and so I shall just try to connct with appearances in a different way.
Today, I heard another CD of the dharmapada at my auld maw's. How odd. The buddha was talking a lot about taking off for the woods, and bugger everything else. I would like to be able to do that, but I can't.
St Antony heard something in church. I think he thought: shit is that what you have to do? And then he went and did it. Cue the forty years in a cave mood music!
You're not going to do that, are you, Hotboy? No, Jack! I couldn't do that! What if I had a toothache?
The Nullabor Plain is where I'd like to be! It's Australia! The best place in this world is Australia. I'd like to be a proper person and go to Australia and sit there and await doom. They don't, some of them, worry about their dentists in Australia!
posted by Hotboy at 11:19 PM
2 Comments:
As a trained counsellor, I like to think I'd have been able to help the Penicuik woman, but I'd probably freeze like everyone else. I'm only good with an axe. I could have cut her from the wreckage.
If only I had stuck in at my medical studies, I could help you loosen women's clothing.
Onan! Only in Bavaria! With the amount of perverts entering medicine, I'm surprised they threw you out for that! When did you become a town councillor? Hotboy
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